What is it to be a man? That’s a question many of us think we know the answer to and a question that no-one seems to be able to find the answer to.
In my view that dichotomy is where the key lies. In ‘Personal Masculinity for Re-Awakened Men’ I said, “The greater power is in a personal approach to masculinity and male behaviour, what I call ‘Personal Masculinity‘. This rejects the single approach to being a man in favour of one that gels with our own personality and energy.”
To be a man, therefore, is to be comfortable with our own personality and energy. Finding this comfort is the core of this 40 Day Cycle. It’s a journey of awareness, acceptance and authenticity. We are nearing the end of the awareness stage and at this point it is appropriate to question our awareness of our Masculinity. Masculinity can be seen as a set of qualities in men that define being a man. These qualities include being Present, Focused, Potent, Dynamic, Grounded and Contained.
I became aware of my make-up when I was faced, later in life with starting a new relationship.
I was rejected, in a loving way, by the woman I was spending time with. This happened because she felt I was not aware of myself and was not living in my masculinity. The key was that I was not living there for myself. I was too conscious of my effect on others, specifically her, and was not being true to myself.
When I detached from the outcome of what I was trying to achieve I started looking at my Personal Masculinity and started living in my power and strength. That made the significant difference that my partner, as she is now, was looking for. I was being myself, nothing more, nothing less.
This grounding led to a sense of presence that became the basis of my new feeling of masculinity. I had found what it is to be a man.
- Are you aware of what masculinity is for you? Does this relate to you or to men in general? What is this definition?
- To what extent do you match this picture of masculinity? To what extent do you believe you are ‘Masculine’?
- What qualities do you possess that define you? Do these qualities connect with your view of masculinity?
- How has your view of masculinity, men and yourself changed over time and how would you see it changing in the future?
Other Posts in the series 'Dealing With Chaos'
- 06. Do You Need, Desire Or Love
- 07. Show Me How To Control Others
- 08. Do You Find Intimacy Difficult
- 09. Suffering Is Resistance To Pain
- 10. Look for the Learning in Emotional Pain
- 11. Are You Seeking The Truth?
- 12. Can You Look Forwards And Backwards?
- 13. Do You Blame Or Take Responsibility?
- 15. Enjoy the Dusk, Celebrate the Day
- 16. Dealing With Chaos - Acceptance
- 17. Do You Accept Your Personalities?
- 18. What Do You Like About Yourself?
- 19. What Don’t You Like About Yourself?
- 20. What Would You Like To Change?
- 21. What Are You Willing To Do To Change?
- 22. Describe The Ideal You, The New You
- 23. How Will You Achieve Change?
- 24. Is Your Life A Construction Site Or A Garden?
- 25. How To Live With Uncertainty
- 26. Can You Let Go Of Your Ego?
- 27. Can You Now Accept Who You Are?
- 28. Enjoying The Person You Are
- 29. Celebrate Who You Are - Be Outrageous!
- 30. Dealing With Chaos - Authenticity
- 31. Do You Live Your Life At Full Potential?
- 32. What Vision Do You Have?
- 33. Do You Walk Your Talk?
- 34. What Are Your Spheres Of Influence?
- 35. How Do You Use Your Sexuality?
- 36. How Are You And Your Family?
- 37. How Do You Use Your Power And Strength?
- 38. Can Others Rely On You?
- 39. What Are You Dishonest About?
- 40. What Will You Stake Your Life On?
- 41. What Is Passion? What Drives You?
- 42. Do You Know Your Truth? Do You Speak It?
- 43. What Will Life Look Like Now?
- 44. Dealing With Chaos - Participants Open Their Hearts
Latest posts by Graham Reid Phoenix (see all)
How Yoga Helped Me Find The Stillness In Masculinity
I have found that Yoga has enabled me to balance my personality and find my 'Still Point'. I use it to observe myself and deepen my masculinity with compassion, awareness and understanding. It has transformed me into a man who is both more alive and calmer.- November 2, 2016
Today I Felt the Shame of Being a Man
Graham experiences what it is like to be woman who is not listened to and suppressed. He looks at what men can do to fill this gender gap. Today I felt the pain of being a woman… Today I felt the shame of being a man…- October 26, 2016
Obesity in Men: What Is The Truth
Britain’s fattest man, Carl Thompson, was 33 years old and weighed 65 stone when he died in 2015. For those not from Britain, that is 410 kilos or 910 pounds. He was housebound, bed-ridden and alone. This was a man whose life had moved out of balance, and who ended up in a miserable, early death. This is an example of the issue of obesity in men.- October 16, 2016