If you live life relying on others you risk being at effect, that is you risk being blown by whatever wind is around you. It is more creative to be at cause, that is creating the life you lead. This is an important lesson you have been learning over the past few weeks.
It is, however, important that others are able to rely on you. At work, in your families and in the many other places you have influence, people need to be able to rely on your stability and your presence. If you take others into consideration as you live your life you will help guide others to be at cause; you will guide people by your example.
When you find yourself doing this you will naturally grow within yourself. Being an inspiration to others not only makes you feel good but it also drives your development and growth. The sense of responsibility that accompanies this helps you to seek new areas of growth and influence, new areas of development.
I have always been an individual but I understand my style of leadership.
I always look to how I can contribute to a team, how I can best use my skills to help the team achieve. I look for the weak spots in the team’s actions and I work to plug the gap. This is not always where I am seen but it is always where the need is. The team can rely on me to contribute fully.
In my marriage I take both our needs and desires into consideration. I believe that making decisions and guiding our day towards results is about focusing more on my partner’s needs, it’s about being trustworthy and totally grounded. For me that is what being a man is all about.
Because my wife can rely on me to love her and take her needs into account she is free to expand in a spontaneous and free way. She is able to fully integrate her femininity with her life, she is able to trust me and surrender to her desires.
- In your own life do you rely on others or do you rely on your own abilities and resources? Are you at cause or effect? Have others let you down?
- Are there other people in your life who rely on you? How much do you take their needs and desires into consideration? Have you let others down?
- Do you understand your style of leadership, do you know how you contribute to teams?
- What can you do to shift your focus, if you feel that is necessary, how can you be more reliable?
Other Posts in the series 'Dealing With Chaos'
- 06. Do You Need, Desire Or Love
- 07. Show Me How To Control Others
- 08. Do You Find Intimacy Difficult
- 09. Suffering Is Resistance To Pain
- 10. Look for the Learning in Emotional Pain
- 11. Are You Seeking The Truth?
- 12. Can You Look Forwards And Backwards?
- 13. Do You Blame Or Take Responsibility?
- 14. Are You Aware Of Your Masculinity?
- 15. Enjoy the Dusk, Celebrate the Day
- 16. Dealing With Chaos - Acceptance
- 17. Do You Accept Your Personalities?
- 18. What Do You Like About Yourself?
- 19. What Don’t You Like About Yourself?
- 20. What Would You Like To Change?
- 21. What Are You Willing To Do To Change?
- 22. Describe The Ideal You, The New You
- 23. How Will You Achieve Change?
- 24. Is Your Life A Construction Site Or A Garden?
- 25. How To Live With Uncertainty
- 26. Can You Let Go Of Your Ego?
- 27. Can You Now Accept Who You Are?
- 28. Enjoying The Person You Are
- 29. Celebrate Who You Are - Be Outrageous!
- 30. Dealing With Chaos - Authenticity
- 31. Do You Live Your Life At Full Potential?
- 32. What Vision Do You Have?
- 33. Do You Walk Your Talk?
- 34. What Are Your Spheres Of Influence?
- 35. How Do You Use Your Sexuality?
- 36. How Are You And Your Family?
- 37. How Do You Use Your Power And Strength?
- 39. What Are You Dishonest About?
- 40. What Will You Stake Your Life On?
- 41. What Is Passion? What Drives You?
- 42. Do You Know Your Truth? Do You Speak It?
- 43. What Will Life Look Like Now?
- 44. Dealing With Chaos - Participants Open Their Hearts
Latest posts by Graham Reid Phoenix (see all)
How Yoga Helped Me Find The Stillness In Masculinity
I have found that Yoga has enabled me to balance my personality and find my 'Still Point'. I use it to observe myself and deepen my masculinity with compassion, awareness and understanding. It has transformed me into a man who is both more alive and calmer.- November 2, 2016
Today I Felt the Shame of Being a Man
Graham experiences what it is like to be woman who is not listened to and suppressed. He looks at what men can do to fill this gender gap. Today I felt the pain of being a woman… Today I felt the shame of being a man…- October 26, 2016
Obesity in Men: What Is The Truth
Britain’s fattest man, Carl Thompson, was 33 years old and weighed 65 stone when he died in 2015. For those not from Britain, that is 410 kilos or 910 pounds. He was housebound, bed-ridden and alone. This was a man whose life had moved out of balance, and who ended up in a miserable, early death. This is an example of the issue of obesity in men.- October 16, 2016