Janus was the Roman God of beginnings, of transitions and change. He represents time because he simultaneously looks forward and backwards.
He was thought to be one of the most important of the Gods because he could see the shifts and changes of life and represented growth and development. His advantage is that he effectively lives in the now because he balances the past and the future.
Most people are not so well developed, perhaps they’re not Gods, and so find balancing the two directions challenging. They favour one direction or the other. Many get stuck in the past, constantly re-living what happened to them. Others are constantly looking forwards, planning what they are going to do. Neither seem to focus on ‘now’, the present moment. This the most important time.
If you ignore the now you may miss opportunities that could change your life.
(Alexander Graham Bell)
I am well into the second half of my life and yet I still look forward.
I have always focused on where I am going and what is going to happen. I plan and imagine and develop ideas. I look back occasionally but find I focus on it so little that I forget what happened, much to the annoyance of others in my family.
The problem, though, has been that I don’t focus enough on this moment, now. I have improved at this by concentrating, whenever I can, on the present moment, looking at what I need or can contribute now. This is a highly useful skill, particularly as one of the most important qualities of men is their presence, their ability to live now and focus on the person they’re with, exclusively.
There are times when I just stop and focus on what’s happening now and on my needs right now. I usually see that my current needs are few, releasing me to just honour the moment.
- Think about what you focus on in life. Are you constantly looking at and talking about what has happened, or are you looking to what is going to happen?
- How much do you focus on the present, this moment. How aware are you of what is going on around you?
- Are you aware of the opportunities that are presented to you every day? How much do you miss what is staring you in the face?
- Think about what you need right now. Is there anything you actually want in this moment? How applicable is that to every unique moment in your life?
Other Posts in the series 'Dealing With Chaos'
- 06. Do You Need, Desire Or Love
- 07. Show Me How To Control Others
- 08. Do You Find Intimacy Difficult
- 09. Suffering Is Resistance To Pain
- 10. Look for the Learning in Emotional Pain
- 11. Are You Seeking The Truth?
- 13. Do You Blame Or Take Responsibility?
- 14. Are You Aware Of Your Masculinity?
- 15. Enjoy the Dusk, Celebrate the Day
- 16. Dealing With Chaos - Acceptance
- 17. Do You Accept Your Personalities?
- 18. What Do You Like About Yourself?
- 19. What Don’t You Like About Yourself?
- 20. What Would You Like To Change?
- 21. What Are You Willing To Do To Change?
- 22. Describe The Ideal You, The New You
- 23. How Will You Achieve Change?
- 24. Is Your Life A Construction Site Or A Garden?
- 25. How To Live With Uncertainty
- 26. Can You Let Go Of Your Ego?
- 27. Can You Now Accept Who You Are?
- 28. Enjoying The Person You Are
- 29. Celebrate Who You Are - Be Outrageous!
- 30. Dealing With Chaos - Authenticity
- 31. Do You Live Your Life At Full Potential?
- 32. What Vision Do You Have?
- 33. Do You Walk Your Talk?
- 34. What Are Your Spheres Of Influence?
- 35. How Do You Use Your Sexuality?
- 36. How Are You And Your Family?
- 37. How Do You Use Your Power And Strength?
- 38. Can Others Rely On You?
- 39. What Are You Dishonest About?
- 40. What Will You Stake Your Life On?
- 41. What Is Passion? What Drives You?
- 42. Do You Know Your Truth? Do You Speak It?
- 43. What Will Life Look Like Now?
- 44. Dealing With Chaos - Participants Open Their Hearts
Latest posts by Graham Reid Phoenix (see all)
How Yoga Helped Me Find The Stillness In Masculinity
I have found that Yoga has enabled me to balance my personality and find my 'Still Point'. I use it to observe myself and deepen my masculinity with compassion, awareness and understanding. It has transformed me into a man who is both more alive and calmer.- November 2, 2016
Today I Felt the Shame of Being a Man
Graham experiences what it is like to be woman who is not listened to and suppressed. He looks at what men can do to fill this gender gap. Today I felt the pain of being a woman… Today I felt the shame of being a man…- October 26, 2016
Obesity in Men: What Is The Truth
Britain’s fattest man, Carl Thompson, was 33 years old and weighed 65 stone when he died in 2015. For those not from Britain, that is 410 kilos or 910 pounds. He was housebound, bed-ridden and alone. This was a man whose life had moved out of balance, and who ended up in a miserable, early death. This is an example of the issue of obesity in men.- October 16, 2016