Jim Rohn said you are the average of the five people you spend most time with. Does that mean they influence you or you influence them?
Where you spend your time and who you spend it with is important in determining what your life becomes, what you make of your life.
What is of greater interest to me is how much your separate spheres of influence overlap in terms of how you show up in them. Do you become different people at work, with friends or family, do you project a consistent personality wherever you are and whatever you are doing.
This division of your life betrays a division in your mind. This spilt diminishes your power and effectiveness at whatever you do. An integrated approach would mean you open your life up to everyone you have contact with. Nothing would be hidden any more.
I used to be very different people in different areas of my life.
When I became involved in personal development, the people there didn’t know what the rest of my life was. They didn’t know about the work I did in lighting, or the extensive contacts I had around the world working with the International Association of Lighting Designers. My family knew little of the totality of what I did, I just went off to work, a lot.
Now my life is integrated. I have actively brought the different areas of my life together. I am the same person in all areas of my life. This has made me a more rounded and complete person. There is no compartmentalisation, there are no masks.
I can be honest about all that I do. The shift was made central to me when I spoke to a conference of lighting designers about my spiritual life and how external light and internal light could be seen as complementary. They loved it, my fears subsided.
- What are the different areas of your life? List the different spheres of influence you have, the different areas where you are known.
- Do these areas overlap or are they kept separate? How do they overlap? How do they influence each other?
- How are you as a person in these different areas? Do people see you differently depending on how they know you?
- How could you integrate these parts of your life? Do you feel you need to be a more integrated person to others?
Other Posts in the series 'Dealing With Chaos'
- 06. Do You Need, Desire Or Love
- 07. Show Me How To Control Others
- 08. Do You Find Intimacy Difficult
- 09. Suffering Is Resistance To Pain
- 10. Look for the Learning in Emotional Pain
- 11. Are You Seeking The Truth?
- 12. Can You Look Forwards And Backwards?
- 13. Do You Blame Or Take Responsibility?
- 14. Are You Aware Of Your Masculinity?
- 15. Enjoy the Dusk, Celebrate the Day
- 16. Dealing With Chaos - Acceptance
- 17. Do You Accept Your Personalities?
- 18. What Do You Like About Yourself?
- 19. What Don’t You Like About Yourself?
- 20. What Would You Like To Change?
- 21. What Are You Willing To Do To Change?
- 22. Describe The Ideal You, The New You
- 23. How Will You Achieve Change?
- 24. Is Your Life A Construction Site Or A Garden?
- 25. How To Live With Uncertainty
- 26. Can You Let Go Of Your Ego?
- 27. Can You Now Accept Who You Are?
- 28. Enjoying The Person You Are
- 29. Celebrate Who You Are - Be Outrageous!
- 30. Dealing With Chaos - Authenticity
- 31. Do You Live Your Life At Full Potential?
- 32. What Vision Do You Have?
- 33. Do You Walk Your Talk?
- 35. How Do You Use Your Sexuality?
- 36. How Are You And Your Family?
- 37. How Do You Use Your Power And Strength?
- 38. Can Others Rely On You?
- 39. What Are You Dishonest About?
- 40. What Will You Stake Your Life On?
- 41. What Is Passion? What Drives You?
- 42. Do You Know Your Truth? Do You Speak It?
- 43. What Will Life Look Like Now?
- 44. Dealing With Chaos - Participants Open Their Hearts
Latest posts by Graham Reid Phoenix (see all)
How Yoga Helped Me Find The Stillness In Masculinity
I have found that Yoga has enabled me to balance my personality and find my 'Still Point'. I use it to observe myself and deepen my masculinity with compassion, awareness and understanding. It has transformed me into a man who is both more alive and calmer.- November 2, 2016
Today I Felt the Shame of Being a Man
Graham experiences what it is like to be woman who is not listened to and suppressed. He looks at what men can do to fill this gender gap. Today I felt the pain of being a woman… Today I felt the shame of being a man…- October 26, 2016
Obesity in Men: What Is The Truth
Britain’s fattest man, Carl Thompson, was 33 years old and weighed 65 stone when he died in 2015. For those not from Britain, that is 410 kilos or 910 pounds. He was housebound, bed-ridden and alone. This was a man whose life had moved out of balance, and who ended up in a miserable, early death. This is an example of the issue of obesity in men.- October 16, 2016