34. What Are Your Spheres Of Influence?

Jim Rohn said you are the average of the five people you spend most time with. Does that mean they influence you or you influence them?

Where you spend your time and who you spend it with is important in determining what your life becomes, what you make of your life.

What is of greater interest to me is how much your separate spheres of influence overlap in terms of how you show up in them. Do you become different people at work, with friends or family, do you project a consistent personality wherever you are and whatever you are doing.

This division of your life betrays a division in your mind. This spilt diminishes your power and effectiveness at whatever you do. An integrated approach would mean you open your life up to everyone you have contact with. Nothing would be hidden any more.

“It takes tremendous discipline to control the influence, the power you have over other people’s lives.”
(Clint Eastwood)

I used to be very different people in different areas of my life.

When I became involved in personal development, the people there didn’t know what the rest of my life was. They didn’t know about the work I did in lighting, or the extensive contacts I had around the world working with the International Association of Lighting Designers. My family knew little of the totality of what I did, I just went off to work, a lot.

Now my life is integrated. I have actively brought the different areas of my life together. I am the same person in all areas of my life. This has made me a more rounded and complete person. There is no compartmentalisation, there are no masks.

I can be honest about all that I do. The shift was made central to me when I spoke to a conference of lighting designers about my spiritual life and how external light and internal light could be seen as complementary. They loved it, my fears subsided.

  • What are the different areas of your life? List the different spheres of influence you have, the different areas where you are known.
  • Do these areas overlap or are they kept separate? How do they overlap? How do they influence each other?
  • How are you as a person in these different areas? Do people see you differently depending on how they know you?
  • How could you integrate these parts of your life? Do you feel you need to be a more integrated person to others?

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