One of the big issues around the subject of gender is how men use their sexuality. The stereotypical complaint is that men use their sexuality to dominate, that there is too much sexualization of men.
Some men see themselves as Alpha Males who have a right to use whatever technique they can to acquire and enjoy women, some men simply physically dominate women to make themselves feel like a man. Most men, however, either don’t quite understand their sexuality or feel threatened by the danger of abusing women.
Men can feel caught between the need to be men and the perception of abuse. Either way it stems from the man’s lack of certainty about himself and his ability to deal with male sexuality. Male sexuality is a potent force that needs to be understood and integrated as part of a man’s personality rather than simple controlled. Suppressing it creates dangerous power than can easily cause harm.
(Tahar Ben Jelloun)
I found, for many years, that I was so unsure of my sexuality that I didn’t know how to deal with it.
Like many men I felt its full force when it grew in me but I didn’t fully understand how it was a vital part of me. It almost felt like something outside of me that I enjoyed occasionally and suffered often.
Fully understanding its energy has enabled me to feel how central it is to me as a man and to allow it its full power when appropriate. I no longer have to hide neither do I have to use it. Women feel it in me but don’t feel threatened by it because they sense that I don’t have to control it and so am not in danger of abusing it. That creates enormous trust.
- Are you aware of your sexuality, its power and its inherent force. Is it part of you or do you feel it’s somehow outside of you?
- Do you feel a need to control it in any way or are you happy that it’s just a natural part of your life? Does this control feel natural?
- Do you feel relaxed about expressing your sexuality or do you inhibited in any way?
- What would it take for you to comfortably see your sexuality as a natural part of you? How could you integrate it into your life?
Other Posts in the series 'Dealing With Chaos'
- 06. Do You Need, Desire Or Love
- 07. Show Me How To Control Others
- 08. Do You Find Intimacy Difficult
- 09. Suffering Is Resistance To Pain
- 10. Look for the Learning in Emotional Pain
- 11. Are You Seeking The Truth?
- 12. Can You Look Forwards And Backwards?
- 13. Do You Blame Or Take Responsibility?
- 14. Are You Aware Of Your Masculinity?
- 15. Enjoy the Dusk, Celebrate the Day
- 16. Dealing With Chaos - Acceptance
- 17. Do You Accept Your Personalities?
- 18. What Do You Like About Yourself?
- 19. What Don’t You Like About Yourself?
- 20. What Would You Like To Change?
- 21. What Are You Willing To Do To Change?
- 22. Describe The Ideal You, The New You
- 23. How Will You Achieve Change?
- 24. Is Your Life A Construction Site Or A Garden?
- 25. How To Live With Uncertainty
- 26. Can You Let Go Of Your Ego?
- 27. Can You Now Accept Who You Are?
- 28. Enjoying The Person You Are
- 29. Celebrate Who You Are - Be Outrageous!
- 30. Dealing With Chaos - Authenticity
- 31. Do You Live Your Life At Full Potential?
- 32. What Vision Do You Have?
- 33. Do You Walk Your Talk?
- 34. What Are Your Spheres Of Influence?
- 36. How Are You And Your Family?
- 37. How Do You Use Your Power And Strength?
- 38. Can Others Rely On You?
- 39. What Are You Dishonest About?
- 40. What Will You Stake Your Life On?
- 41. What Is Passion? What Drives You?
- 42. Do You Know Your Truth? Do You Speak It?
- 43. What Will Life Look Like Now?
- 44. Dealing With Chaos - Participants Open Their Hearts
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I have found that Yoga has enabled me to balance my personality and find my 'Still Point'. I use it to observe myself and deepen my masculinity with compassion, awareness and understanding. It has transformed me into a man who is both more alive and calmer.- November 2, 2016
Today I Felt the Shame of Being a Man
Graham experiences what it is like to be woman who is not listened to and suppressed. He looks at what men can do to fill this gender gap. Today I felt the pain of being a woman… Today I felt the shame of being a man…- October 26, 2016
Obesity in Men: What Is The Truth
Britain’s fattest man, Carl Thompson, was 33 years old and weighed 65 stone when he died in 2015. For those not from Britain, that is 410 kilos or 910 pounds. He was housebound, bed-ridden and alone. This was a man whose life had moved out of balance, and who ended up in a miserable, early death. This is an example of the issue of obesity in men.- October 16, 2016