Men are all about power and strength, not in an athletic sense but in terms of dominance.
It can be seen most clearly in animals, such as dogs. There is a need to create a pecking order, a hierarchy that defines who a man is. Amongst men, particularly at work, there can be some justification for this, but between men, women and children it becomes unnecessary.
Men can express their dominance because they think it’s how they should be, as alpha males do, or because of fear of being dominated. The reaction to the fear of being dominated is insidious and can even be dangerous. It often results in abuse of one type or another.
Your real power comes when you let go of all fear and come to know that you can use it to master yourself and your emotions. Combining it with compassion is real strength.
(Tao Te Ching)
I learnt how to be dominant from my father, I became good at it.
Early in my career in the theatre I felt a need to establish dominance. I was shy and unsure of myself so when I stared a new job running a stage crew I established myself by hitting a guy who was messing around. I got people’s attention but I didn’t make any friends. It encouraged my to use power and strength for years as I thought that was the only way to get attention.
The downside was that I put others either into fear or they rose to the challenge. I got no respect this way and I did not get a good reputation. I ended up only as good as my last exercise in domination and found nothing lasting. It took time before I learnt that real respect and power come from understanding people and helping them to achieve what they want.
Today people are amazed to hear that I was an angry man.
- Do you think you are a powerful person, or do you succumb to other people’s power? Do you use your strength to get attention?
- Do people respect and understand you or do they listen to you because you force them physically, emotionally or psychologically?
- How could you use the qualities you have to help and support people? How can you achieve what you want by giving rather than getting?
- Do you need to shift your perspective on the issue of power and strength? If so how can you do this?
Other Posts in the series 'Dealing With Chaos'
- 06. Do You Need, Desire Or Love
- 07. Show Me How To Control Others
- 08. Do You Find Intimacy Difficult
- 09. Suffering Is Resistance To Pain
- 10. Look for the Learning in Emotional Pain
- 11. Are You Seeking The Truth?
- 12. Can You Look Forwards And Backwards?
- 13. Do You Blame Or Take Responsibility?
- 14. Are You Aware Of Your Masculinity?
- 15. Enjoy the Dusk, Celebrate the Day
- 16. Dealing With Chaos - Acceptance
- 17. Do You Accept Your Personalities?
- 18. What Do You Like About Yourself?
- 19. What Don’t You Like About Yourself?
- 20. What Would You Like To Change?
- 21. What Are You Willing To Do To Change?
- 22. Describe The Ideal You, The New You
- 23. How Will You Achieve Change?
- 24. Is Your Life A Construction Site Or A Garden?
- 25. How To Live With Uncertainty
- 26. Can You Let Go Of Your Ego?
- 27. Can You Now Accept Who You Are?
- 28. Enjoying The Person You Are
- 29. Celebrate Who You Are - Be Outrageous!
- 30. Dealing With Chaos - Authenticity
- 31. Do You Live Your Life At Full Potential?
- 32. What Vision Do You Have?
- 33. Do You Walk Your Talk?
- 34. What Are Your Spheres Of Influence?
- 35. How Do You Use Your Sexuality?
- 36. How Are You And Your Family?
- 38. Can Others Rely On You?
- 39. What Are You Dishonest About?
- 40. What Will You Stake Your Life On?
- 41. What Is Passion? What Drives You?
- 42. Do You Know Your Truth? Do You Speak It?
- 43. What Will Life Look Like Now?
- 44. Dealing With Chaos - Participants Open Their Hearts
Latest posts by Graham Reid Phoenix (see all)
How Yoga Helped Me Find The Stillness In Masculinity
I have found that Yoga has enabled me to balance my personality and find my 'Still Point'. I use it to observe myself and deepen my masculinity with compassion, awareness and understanding. It has transformed me into a man who is both more alive and calmer.- November 2, 2016
Today I Felt the Shame of Being a Man
Graham experiences what it is like to be woman who is not listened to and suppressed. He looks at what men can do to fill this gender gap. Today I felt the pain of being a woman… Today I felt the shame of being a man…- October 26, 2016
Obesity in Men: What Is The Truth
Britain’s fattest man, Carl Thompson, was 33 years old and weighed 65 stone when he died in 2015. For those not from Britain, that is 410 kilos or 910 pounds. He was housebound, bed-ridden and alone. This was a man whose life had moved out of balance, and who ended up in a miserable, early death. This is an example of the issue of obesity in men.- October 16, 2016