37. How Do You Use Your Power And Strength?

Men are all about power and strength, not in an athletic sense but in terms of dominance.

It can be seen most clearly in animals, such as dogs. There is a need to create a pecking order, a hierarchy that defines who a man is. Amongst men, particularly at work, there can be some justification for this, but between men, women and children it becomes unnecessary.

Men can express their dominance because they think it’s how they should be, as alpha males do, or because of fear of being dominated. The reaction to the fear of being dominated is insidious and can even be dangerous. It often results in abuse of one type or another.

Your real power comes when you let go of all fear and come to know that you can use it to master yourself and your emotions. Combining it with compassion is real strength.

“Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.”
(Tao Te Ching)

I learnt how to be dominant from my father, I became good at it.

Early in my career in the theatre I felt a need to establish dominance. I was shy and unsure of myself so when I stared a new job running a stage crew I established myself by hitting a guy who was messing around. I got people’s attention but I didn’t make any friends. It encouraged my to use power and strength for years as I thought that was the only way to get attention.

The downside was that I put others either into fear or they rose to the challenge. I got no respect this way and I did not get a good reputation. I ended up only as good as my last exercise in domination and found nothing lasting. It took time before I learnt that real respect and power come from understanding people and helping them to achieve what they want.

Today people are amazed to hear that I was an angry man.

  • Do you think you are a powerful person, or do you succumb to other people’s power? Do you use your strength to get attention?
  • Do people respect and understand you or do they listen to you because you force them physically, emotionally or psychologically?
  • How could you use the qualities you have to help and support people? How can you achieve what you want by giving rather than getting?
  • Do you need to shift your perspective on the issue of power and strength? If so how can you do this?

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Other Posts in the series 'Dealing With Chaos'

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