I received an extraordinary email from Eben Pagan recently. That’s Eben Pagan who made millions as David DeAngelo of Double Your Dating.
He is the man who is famous for popularising dating and The Game amongst men, in his own words,
“… probably helped more men around the world how to be successful in dating than anyone else. Millions of men have read my newsletters, watched my videos and purchased my books and dating success programs.”
He said, in this email,
“Even though I had as many dates as I wanted (and occasionally a relationship that lasted a year or two) it just didn’t seem like it was ever going to really happen for me. I had actually “accepted” that I was probably going to be single forever…”
I didn’t dknow this but it didn’t surprise me, not because I know anything about Eben, but because I don’t believe all that stuff about dating. This is a unique and powerful book. It is a record of a series of conversations with Christopher Howard on masculinity, sex, addiction and relationships. In them both Chris and myself opened ourselves up in a very personal and revealing way. We held nothing back and explored what it is to be men.
Journey to the Core of the Masculine
'Conversations about Men & Masculinity' and
'A 40 Day Challenge for Men'
This is a unique and powerful book. It is a record of a series of conversations with Christopher Howard on masculinity, sex, addiction and relationships. In them both Chris and myself opened ourselves up in a very personal and revealing way. We held nothing back and explored what it is to be men.
Double Your Dating
I get that it works in the sense of being able to pick women up, but I don’t think it makes any sense in terms of finding your dream partner, or even any long-term partner.
Eben goes on to talk about what happened when he gave a talk one year at ‘Burning Man’,
“The talk I gave was about why it’s so important to make yourself strong and successful as an individual, so you can ultimately contribute the most to others and the world in the long-run. Afterwards, several people hung around to discuss the ideas I shared. One of them was a self-described “sassy burner girl” — who is now my wife.”
Hmmm… no date, no chat up, just meeting….
“What’s interesting is that I was taking my own advice, and doing one of the “techniques” I taught in my very last dating program (“Become Mr. Right”). I was living my purpose, and sharing my best ideas and strategies for self-actualization and making a difference.”
So that’s David DeAngelo on being a man — it’s about being who you are, living a life of purpose and being open to who’s out there.
That’s the real message hidden away in Eben’s email. I want to congratulate him for finally seeing the truth.
Forget the Double Your Dating techniques — be the best of who you are.
Annie, his now wife, said about their meeting,
“Walking into a dusty tent looking for my friends at Burning Man, I first saw Eben speaking to a group about the future of leadership. Within 15 minutes of listening to him, I knew he was unlike any man I’d ever met. I sat and stayed riveted for the rest of the talk. The way he spoke, his bold ideas, the raw agility of his mind, it was breathtaking. I was infused with mild vertigo (excitement/ terror). My heart soared at the possibility that someone like that existed.”
That’s what a woman wants, a man who is just being himself, just being powerful.
This what I have been saying all along. It’s not about men who can’t love.
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