The Running Away That Never Happened

running away

I learned to seek something that had a sense of purpose.

I did not like my life very much, I don’t know why. There was this feeling inside that nothing was right and that I was not good enough. My life was good, in many ways. I was comfortable at home and my parents allowed me to do much of what I liked. The problem was that I didn’t know what I liked. I did not feel able to make the decisions on what to do and where to go. It felt like I was missing some essential piece of knowledge. So I looked for it by running away.

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Coping with the Physical and with Perfection

physical perfection

The story of my physical existence and how my body tried to rule me.

When I look at my body I see what is wrong with it, what is not perfect about it. I focus on what I do not have and what I can not do. Only after a lifetime do I start to think about what I have, what I can do and how I am perfect. I see that we are all perfect in our own way. We are what we are, and we do ourselves harm if we seek a perfection that is unobtainable.

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The Soul Is The Home Of The Spirit

the soul and the spirit

The story of a young soul who grows into an old soul, and finds a new young soul inside.

His soul is hidden inside his body. His body grows at a steady rate while seeming to run and crawl at the same time. Wrapped around the soul is a mind that wanders around trying to find the route to his soul, without realising it is tucked inside. Whenever his mind sees glimpses of this it rushes off to new places. The whole is buffeted by the storms of emotions that blow up out of nowhere like whirlwinds in the desert. His soul is the home of his spirit, the heart of his being, the core of his existence.

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Embers of Illumination — The Book

A Journey from Loneliness to Aloneness.

This is a memoir of my life, of my spiritual development. It is a book about how I have grown from loneliness to aloneness.

You are one thing only. You are a Divine Being. An all-powerful Creator. You are a Deity in jeans and a t-shirt, and within you dwells the infinite wisdom of the ages and the sacred creative force of All that is, will be and ever was.
―Anthon St. Maarten

Everyone knows about loneliness, but not many understand aloneness. It is the ability to stand on your own, not propped up by others, to be lonely in a crowd or happy on your own. I sought the latter through my life and found through my spiritual growth. I am happy on my own and even happier when with others. The book explores this.

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