As A Writer I Had To Find My Writing Voice – To Become A Writer

At the beginning of 2011 I said to myself, "I am now a writer". The easy part was over. I now set about finding my writing voice. I had to understand how to use my experience and learning.

I entered the third third of my life and started my third career. I have previously been a theatre lighting designer and an architectural lighting designer. These are both creative professions, so I thought it would be easy to become a writer.

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The Pursuit Of Happiness – How Men Can Be Happy

The United States Declaration of Independence says, "... that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and Happiness." But how is that happiness achieved?

Recently I created an online course for men called ‘How To Love A Woman’. The course has had some success but not as much as I expected. In talking to a number of men it seems that the name and the concept did not push their buttons. I have been seeking a focus for the course that men can and will relate to. This needs to have strength to it and it needs to connect with how men achieve love and intimacy with women. In there lies power for men.

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10 Steps to one of the 10 Best Wordpress Sites

This site was recently named one of 'The 10 Best Wordpress Sites In The World'. It came in at number 5. This was the result of consistent detailed effort. I used just 10 simple steps to create a fast, well planned site.

You should have an amazing site because of the power of Wordpress and you can improve your web presence by careful planning.

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If You Can Keep Your Head – You’ll Be A Man

'If' by Rudyard Kipling is a poem that speaks to the heart of a masculinity that is rare today.

The idea of being a man, today, has been caught up in a gender discussion that is purely political. It was started by the feminist movement to help women stake a claim to equality in a male dominated world.

There is nothing wrong with that discussion, indeed it’s one that is necessary, but it should not dominate all thought and discussion about men, manhood and masculinity.

In the poem Kipling does not talk about men in relation to women, he does not discuss male domination or patriarchy. He does not mention loving a woman. He discusses men in relation to other men. He explores the concept of being a man as opposed to not being a man.

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Emotional Abuse – I Still Want To Kick The Shit Out Of Him…

Being dominating and using mental and emotional abuse is as bad as being physically abusive.

I was in Glasgow with my parents on our annual trip back to Scotland to visit family. I must have been in my early teens. I went off for the day to explore the city on my own. I’ve always enjoyed walking around new and strange cities. My love of steam trains (they still existed then) took me to St Enoch Station.

Standing on the steps looking at my map and wondering where to go next, I was approached by a man seeking to help me.

I was the typical innocent abroad and trusted this man. We started talking and he offered to buy me a coffee in the station cafe. I accepted.

We sat in a quiet corner and at one point he gently took my hand and laid it on his leg. I realised my hand was on his erect penis. I was horrified and only then realised why this man was so helpful. I got away as quick as I could.

Although nothing serious happened to me this experience has remained with me for 50 years now.

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Mens Movement: ‘Awakening The New Masculine’

'Awakening The New Masculine' is a new book by Gary Stamper.

It focuses on The Path Of The Integral Warrior and is called a psychospiritual journey for men. It lays out his view of what men should aspire to based on his Integral Warrior workshops, as part of the mens movement.

It’s a brave attempt by Gary to outline a new paradigm for masculinity and provide a path for the mens movement to follow. It succeeds in outlining a spiritual path for men who are already on this type of journey, men who have already entered the castle of their own spirituality, but it fails to address what the new masculine means for ordinary men. It fails to account for the issues men face in the world of work and relationships and it fails to describe an accessible new masculine.

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David DeAngelo/Eben Pagan Finally Finds Love

I received an extraordinary email from Eben Pagan recently. That's Eben Pagan who made millions as David DeAngelo of Double Your Dating.

He is the man who is famous for popularising dating and The Game amongst men, in his own words,

… probably helped more men around the world how to be successful in dating than anyone else. Millions of men have read my newsletters, watched my videos and purchased my books and dating success programs.

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Step Up BUT Don’t Step Back

One of the biggest issues that women see in men is the inability of many men---and I mean many men---to stay true to themselves and their strength. They step up... and then... they step back.

Much of what I write about here is encouraging and helping men to step up. To step up and be a man is what so many men want. They feel weak or inadequate, or they feel fear of over-stepping the mark. They are seeking how to find, and live in, their own strength. They are looking for their Personal Masculinity.

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If I Could Hold On Through The Tears And Laughter

"And if I could hold on / Through the tears and the laughter / Would it be beautiful / Or just a beautiful disaster?"

The lyrics of a Kelly Clarkson song speak to me of the pain of love. They speak to me of the idea that love is hard but worthwhile. They speak to me of someone who doesn’t know the way out, the way through to the sunlight. What’s beyond the tears and laughter?

Love is such an over-used word that people commonly don’t know what it means. They talk about loving and being loved and all they see is connection. But what is the connection? Is it need, desire, control or love?

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