I have been up most of last night watching the UK General Election results come in. It was an exciting night that confounded the expectations of most pollsters and pundits. Theresa May, the Prime Minister and leader of the Conservative Party, did not receive the mandate for ‘strong and stable’ government that she expected, leaving her with the largest party but not with a majority. Jeremy Corbyn, the leader of the opposition Labour Party dramatically increased the labour seats in the House of Commons and the Labour share of the vote, despite the predictions of the Labour Party disappearing for decades.
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The more men come to terms with their masculinity, the more the tension seems to grow between men and women. Yet, from my perspective and my experience, this shift should bring us together. The stress and tension between men and women stem from misunderstanding and confusion. It, so often, comes from people seeing the world in terms that are too simplistic. Masculinity varies for each man dependent on personality, family and culture. The common thread is a set of characteristics that allow men to feel masculine.
We sat in the cafe, me drinking an Americano and she a Capuccino, talking about our past, feeling our way through the pain and shame of our previous lives. The partners we had mistreated and been mistreated by. The parents who had shamed us into submission, who had distorted our views of reality. Mostly we talked about how long it had taken us to understand and accept the culture of domination and suppression, the culture we had both, unknowingly, bought into many years ago.
In it I said, “How often do you hear men say, “My wife doesn’t understand me.” What they really mean is, “I don’t understand my wife.”
In another articled I looked at “10 Ways A Man Can Love A Woman“. In talking about men in love I said,
It’s an overwhelming emotion you have about another person, an emotion that you can’t truly explain but you can’t get rid of. It makes you want to be with that person, hold them, touch them, have sex with them. It shows itself as an exchange of energy, a polarity, that excites your soul. Love makes you feel great and totally transforms life. Love is worship of the other person, the woman who is divine for you. Love is the power house behind our lives, it is the reason we live.
Do you know what love is? You form a relationship and get married to affirm your place in the world. You learn, you think, how to treat a woman, how to be with her and you call that love. But ultimately it doesn’t seem to work. You wonder where love went and wonder how to love a woman.
Tom found that women usually lost interest in him. They started off feeling attracted to him, then when they acted ‘moody’ he saw it as a sign that he need to fill an emotional need in them. He filled that need, becoming their emotional punchbag. The women became aloof and were, eventually, repulsed by him. They walked away. Females!!
I was privileged to hear a conversation in which one woman was telling another that she was upset that her man had just broken up with her. The reason he gave up was that she kept taking control during sex. He said he couldn’t take it any more, the fact that she controls him.