Sex And Gender – Does It Affect Our Everyday Experience?

Men and Women? Are they the same? Are they different? What is all this disagreement over Sex and Gender?

As a man I spend time thinking and writing about the experience of being a man. I look to understand my own experience and that of many other men. I do this to develop who I am and to provide other men with material that will enable them to develop who they are, to create a situation where men become men.

A critical part of this is understanding what it is to be a man, how men become men. In relation to what, you might ask. It’s important to know what not being a man looks like. Where is it that men are when they seek help from ‘Graham Reid Phoenix’?

This is an essence of the debate on Sex and Gender. What is a man and how is this man created? The point of this article is not to debate this issue but to point out where I am coming from as a writer.

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Masculine and Feminine – The Future

Over the last few posts I have touched on some vital aspects of what it is to be a man and the essence of the contrast between masculine and feminine.

There is a challenge that men to take up. It’s to re-align their masculinity so it becomes relevant today. It’s not about becoming feminine, it’s not about developing a feminine side, it’s about developing compassion along with strength, courage and certainty.

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Masculine Characteristics – A New Approach

The way for us to move forward as men is to develop our own norms based on our core masculine characteristics and our response to cultural conditioning not based on the dominant cultural norms; that is create our own personal masculinity.

This move away from the feminine was achieved in tribal societies through initiation and ceremony. In modern society we have lost this blunting our access to our masculine characteristics and making the shift more problematic and painful. The lack of involvement of fathers in this process makes the situation worse.

The result is increasing conflict between men and women because men either fail to make the transition or they over-compensate and dominate women.

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Gender Stereotyping – Why?

What is really worrying in the general debate on masculinity and femininity is that people see gender identity as a battle ground.

It is similar to the stagnation of the First World War and its trenches filled with soldiers facing each other and dying for a forgotten principle. There is no point to it and no-one wins.

We face this stagnation in everyday life, The Battle of the Sexes. What are men and women, why all the strife between them?

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Is Male Domination An Issue For Men – Is A New View Needed?

The domination, abuse and suppression of women by men has existed throughout history. Men physically, psychologically, socially and emotionally dominate women all over the world.

Our view of the world and ourselves in it influences our view of this. Men deny it and accept it. Most men see its existence but deny any personal involvement in it, they approach it from their own needs as men and leave women to resolve their own relationship to it.

I find I need to understand this from a perspective other than my own and respond to it in a way that helps women overcome the centuries of pain and humiliation.

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