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Session 3: Be Grounded

Self-Confidence, Being Grounded, Loving Yourself

In ‘Be Grounded and Loving’ you will learn that another essential quality in a man is the ability to be grounded. From the solidity of this grounding comes the ability to love and be loved. Where these collide is in self-love. Your ability to love yourself is a basic requirement for moving forward on this journey. You will work on your self-confidence, allowing you to be able to love yourself and therefore, love others. It is crucial that you get this right and that you understand this process.

Be Grounded – Summary


Your expectations, your choices, values, and beliefs are created by your unconscious mind. If you change your unconscious pattern of thought, you can change the basis of your life. Men seemed to be totally unaware of how they present themselves and how they’re seen by others. There’s a number of very specific issues that show what’s going on. Deal with those and you will change how people perceive you. They include: Clothes, Hair, Stance, Expression, Walk, Tone, Speech, Communication, Body Language, Attitude, Presence, Gratitude.

Being Grounded

It means is that you’re in touch with reality. You are able to resist pressure from those around you. You’re able to be certain in yourself and enable others to feel certain around you. Once you rid yourself of any doubt, you find you can accept all that you are. Look at others only to model them and absorb what is great in them.

Loving Yourself

To love yourself means to accept yourself as you are, and come to terms with those aspects of yourself you cannot change. It means to have self-respect, a positive self-image, and unconditional self-acceptance. It means having a healthy regard for yourself, knowing that you are a worthy human being. It is important to remind yourself that no one is perfect. You have strengths and weaknesses and you possess the resources to work on improving yourself.

You are unique in the specific talents and abilities you have to offer. In order to appreciate yourself is up to you to discover what makes you unique and to go further in developing those talents. You have a responsibility to yourself to do so. You cannot sit around and wait for approval from others. You need to work on accepting yourself. You are the only you you have and it’s in your best interest to be the best you can be.

How do you love yourself?

  • You do so by investing in and working on your personal growth and development.
  • You take care of your body by eating well. Exercise and get plenty of rest.
  • Don’t neglect your spirit or you will lack balance and feel that something is missing.
  • If you don’t love yourself things can happen to restrict your ability to live well.

To be able to truly love someone without attachment or possessiveness, you have to fully accept yourself with all the flaws, mistakes and inadequacies you may have.

But if you just rely on those around you to teach you about love, you fall into a passive way of coming to love yourself. I prefer to use my ability to love myself to show others how to love me. That creates an interaction that grows and builds. Learn to love others so you can learn to love yourself.

Be Grounded – Worksheet

Set aside time to think through your answers to the questions. They are intended to get you thinking about loving yourself. Write your answers either in this worksheet or start a journal. Also write your emotional or other reactions.

  1. Honestly ask the question, do you love yourself? If you are unsure then ask yourself: can you love yourself?
  2. If you answered yes then write down all the ways you love yourself, write down all the things you love about yourself. You can be honest no-one else is going to read this.
  3. If you answered no or aren’t sure then write down all the parts of yourself that get in the way. What is it you aren’t sure of? What don’t you like?
  4. Can you let go of the things that get in the way? What would it take to love yourself? What are the things you could love about yourself?

Be Grounded – Exercise

Write down four things you feel about yourself in each of the following areas:

  • Relationships with Others
  • Day to Day Functioning
  • Personality
  • Appearance

Go back over your answers and look at the extent to which they show strength or weakness.

Re-write your answers bearing in mind the following:

  • Celebrate the strengths you identify in the exercise.
  • Look at weakness from the opposite perspective.
  • Recognise hidden or overlooked talents.
  • Note where weakness specifically occurs and where it doesn’t.
  • Let go of judgements.
  • Eliminate hurtful words that just don’t belong.

Re-write them.

  • Relationships with Others
  • Day to Day Functioning
  • Personality
  • Appearance

Now look at how different the view you see is. Get to know the person you now show yourself to be.

As you go through the course, return to this exercise from time to time and re-do it.

Read the following articles to open up your perspective…

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Previous: Session 2: Understand Your Influences

Next: Session 4: Live In Your Power