Sex And Gender – Does It Affect Our Everyday Experience?

Men and Women? Are they the same? Are they different? What is all this disagreement over Sex and Gender?

As a man I spend time thinking and writing about the experience of being a man. I look to understand my own experience and that of many other men. I do this to develop who I am and to provide other men with material that will enable them to develop who they are, to create a situation where men become men.

A critical part of this is understanding what it is to be a man, how men become men. In relation to what, you might ask. It’s important to know what not being a man looks like. Where is it that men are when they seek help from ‘Graham Reid Phoenix’?

This is an essence of the debate on Sex and Gender. What is a man and how is this man created? The point of this article is not to debate this issue but to point out where I am coming from as a writer.

Continue reading →

Grateful People and Ungrateful People

There's no greater difference between men than between grateful people and ungrateful people. —R H Blyth

I am at the end of the launch window for “How To Love A Woman’. There have been some amazing responses, one’s that have touched me deeply. Yet economically this is not going to enable me to retire. What matters to me? What’s important? Why am I doing it?

Continue reading →

I Am Male, and I Am a Man

The first is biological and undeniable; the second is in my character.

To understand myself as a man, I need to look at my behaviour.

In my early 50s, I was the Design Principal of a practice based in London. There were eight of us—four men and four women. The firm was owned and run by men, including me, but the main design leaders were women.

Continue reading →

Masculine Characteristics – A New Approach

The way for us to move forward as men is to develop our own norms based on our core masculine characteristics and our response to cultural conditioning not based on the dominant cultural norms; that is create our own personal masculinity.

This move away from the feminine was achieved in tribal societies through initiation and ceremony. In modern society we have lost this blunting our access to our masculine characteristics and making the shift more problematic and painful. The lack of involvement of fathers in this process makes the situation worse.

The result is increasing conflict between men and women because men either fail to make the transition or they over-compensate and dominate women.

Continue reading →

Manifesto For Men—Feminine Men?

Men need to apologise to women! Men need to set the record straight! Men need to establish a new paradigm! Men need to find their feminine! Do we need feminine men?

With the growth of blogs there is a growth in men feeling they need to explore where they are. Is this necessary or even helpful? What is it that established men like this?

Continue reading →

Traditional Masculinity or Personal Masculinity for Re-Awakened Men

Traditional masculinity is out-dated. The world has moved on from the ideal of a tough masculine man.

We are told that in today’s modern society that masculinity no longer appropriate. Equally the concept of the ‘new man’ is out-dated and in decline. The world no longer wants the house husband who prepares lunch for his power wife. This is condemned as just another type of power structure and is no longer appropriate.

Continue reading →