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Emotional Abuse – I Still Want To Kick The Shit Out Of Him…

Being dominating and using mental and emotional abuse is as bad as being physically abusive.

I was in Glasgow with my parents on our annual trip back to Scotland to visit family. I must have been in my early teens. I went off for the day to explore the city on my own. I’ve always enjoyed walking around new and strange cities. My love of steam trains (they still existed then) took me to St Enoch Station.

Standing on the steps looking at my map and wondering where to go next, I was approached by a man seeking to help me.

I was the typical innocent abroad and trusted this man. We started talking and he offered to buy me a coffee in the station cafe. I accepted.

We sat in a quiet corner and at one point he gently took my hand and laid it on his leg. I realised my hand was on his erect penis. I was horrified and only then realised why this man was so helpful. I got away as quick as I could.

Although nothing serious happened to me this experience has remained with me for 50 years now. Continue reading →

Fear of Success – The Brave Put Down Their Fear And Go Forward

“All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory” —Ancient Greek Motto

What are you most fearful of? What is the worst thing that could happen to you? What is it that you secretly dread more than anything else? Do you have a fear of success or failure?

For most people there are two fears that have greater power than any other. They are the fear that they aren’’t loved or the fear that they aren’’t good enough.

These fears disable people to the extent, sometimes, that they are unable to move forward or do anything. They then become self-fulfilling prophecies. They end demonstrating that they aren’’t good enough and they end up not being loved.

They are able to say, ““See, I told you so!””

How much do you like to be proved right, how often do you create a negative result in order to show to yourself that you can’’t do something?

I have found, in myself, that not achieving what I really want in life is a very comfortable place to be. It sound bizarre but having a business go bankrupt can show that everything is right in the world. I set up a business with a new business partner, a few years ago, and a previous partner told him that I would let him down and, ultimately, not perform.

It hurt me when I heard that but several years later I found that that’s exactly what happened. The business failed and the new partner lost some money. I had fulfilled the prophecy and had not turned the world upside down.

Why was it that that comforted me, while creating a success of the business and me feeling very uncomfortable?

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It was Marianne Williamson who said that it is our light that most frightens us. It is our success which most puts us on edge. We all have a fear of success.

‌Until we put our fears aside we have no idea what we are actually capable of. Until we face our dreams and start living them they just remain dreams. The great thing about turning dreams into reality is that you can then have even greater dreams.

When we stand up to make our mark, when we put ourselves out there to create something new, something different, we expose ourselves.

In exposing ourselves we to be brave, despite the fact that all men have fears, we need to take hold of our courage and brave whatever happens. It’s when we put aside our fears and face they world that we really begin to achieve our dreams.

Why is it that through bravery we achieve our dreams? Why do we have to stand on the edge and learn to fly?

Until we put our fears aside we have no idea what we are actually capable of. Until we face our dreams and start living them they just remain dreams. The great thing about turning dreams into reality is that you can then have even greater dreams.

But first you need to take action and by taking action you have to become vulnerable.

What are you going to do today that requires bravery? What victory are going to win today? Do you have a fear of success or failure?

bushido code

Bushido Code – The Samurai For Todays Men

The Warriors Way, was born in ancient Japan. It was the code the Samurai Warriors lived by and it has always fascinated western men, as shown vividly in the film 'The Last Samurai'.

The Warrior’s Way of strength and rigour amazes and frightens others at the same time. Men feel a desire to follow Bushido Code but the western world seems to work against it. The context, particularly of today’s world, does not seem to allow for its existence.

Continue reading →

He Is A Rogue … That’s Why He Has The Best Male Blog

Okay, let’s be clear about this, I am a man and I am a blogger. In fact I’ve turned it back on itself — I blog about men! I think I have the best male blog.

Now, some men are rogues. We all know rogues: they are focused, calculating, dedicated, and only want one thing. These are the qualities of a real rogue—and the qualities of a successful blogger.

Look at what Chris Guillebeau, at Art of Non-Conformity, said:

“The reality that I need to work more than I thought has required some sacrifices I did not expect in the beginning, and it took me a while to become comfortable with this.”

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To Be A Man – My Transformation As A Man

Being a man is about “having the courage”, not so much in the traditional sense used in wartime, but in the ability to expose yourself and feel the certainty of your self-knowledge.

I wrote My Story last week. It’s an overview of my life, as I see it now, maleness to manhood, to be a man.

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The Courage To Change – To Feel Love – To Feel Important

When we first met you were crazy about her. You couldn't stop talking about her. You wanted so much to be with her, all the time, but you couldn't make it work. You needed her to show you the way. But it never happened, it fell apart. What do you want now...

I wonder, “What do you want in life?” When we first met you were crazy about her. You couldn’t stop talking about her.

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How Bubbles The Stupid Dog Is Inspiring

Bubbles is a Spanish Water Dog. Her favourite game is to chase balls that you throw for her. How is that inspiring?

She places the ball at your feet and stands waiting for you to throw it. All the time she is focused on you, gazing expectantly into your eyes. You throw the ball and she hares after it, brings it back and the whole process starts again.

Continue reading →