Love And Anger—Living With Emotional Authenticity

love and anger

How I live with my emotions and what I need to do, moving forward, to remain authentic to my intentions.

Love and Anger are two emotions that are central to how I live my life. On the one hand love is at the core of my emotional responses. It is either the lack of love, the desire for love or the need for love. On the other anger is such a powerful emotion for me, it has dominated my life and caused untold chaos. The desire, or need, for love is easy to confuse with the play of love in my life.

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Session 11: Love Your Woman

Intimacy, Love, Emotional Relationships

This is the other pillar, intimacy. It is the heart of any emotional relationship. It is what provides the balance to the physical aspect. Intimacy is particularly important for a woman, who often seeks intimacy before sex, where a man can seek sex before intimacy. Understanding how to create a balance between the two pillars is vital in learning how to love a woman. This is the core of what we are talking about.

Love Your Woman – Summary

Intimacy

Intimacy is being close to someone on an emotional level to the point where you feel that you start to merge together. Intimacy is a vulnerable sharing of inner thoughts, feelings, spirit and true self. It’s achieved through listening, empathy or reassurance.

Men find intimacy confusing because they connect intimacy with an emotional state that follows sex. Women mostly connect intimacy with an emotional state that can lead to sex. Sex without intimacy can be very unrewarding, while sex with intimacy can be deeply fulfilling.

According to psychologist John Gopner there are four stages to a relationship breakdown:

  • Conflict, complaints, arguments, differences of opinion, blaming each other.
  • Feelings of contempt for each other that grow as the arguments deepen or disappear.
  • Increasing defensive behavior, preserving identity, feeling threatened by accusations.
  • Breakdown of basic trust between the partners and increasing disengagement.

Prevent breakdown by developing intimacy; learn the language. It enables you to be open with each other, to be honest with each other and develop closeness without boundaries.

Love

Seven simple steps to put into practice every day of your life. Write them down, pin them up and never forget them. Start today as if it was your first day of your relationship:

  • Tell her you love her. Say it so she understands it and has no doubts. Volunteer it.
  • Just love her for herself. You love her just because of her and nothing else.
  • Get to know her. Love can only grow and deepen through understanding.
  • Count your blessings. Things you have together, all you have achieved as a couple.
  • Give love always. The desire to give more than you receive fuels love’s creative force.
  • Pay attention to her. She needs it all the time, notice her attempts to get it.
  • Start afresh each day. Start your day as if it was your first day of your relationship.

Communicating your emotions to your partner will make her feel loved and understood.

Emotional Relationships

In an emotional relationship, two people have such deep feelings for each other that others cannot intervene and disrupt their relationship. With such a bond there is no place for misunderstandings or conflict. The main pillars are truth, honesty and faithfulness.

An emotional affair is when you turn to someone else for your core emotional support. If this is you, fix it by putting by re-investing your emotional energy in your relationship as soon as possible. Stop escaping and deal with issues now, before they lead to a terrible crisis.


Love Your Woman – Worksheet

Set aside time to think through your answers to the questions. They are intended to get you thinking about the level of intimacy you have with your partner. Write your answers either in this worksheet or start a journal. Also write your emotional or other reactions.

  1. Is there any conflict in your relationship? What causes the conflict, is it focused on one area or is it more general?
  2. What steps do you take every day to show your partner you love her? What steps could you take? How could you change the direction of your relationship for the better?
  3. Do you have a female friendship outside of your relationship, does it feel like it’s easier to talk to your friend than your partner? Does your friend seem to understand you in a deeper way than your partner? Do you see any danger signals?
  4. Have you stopped confiding your deepest feelings and concerns in your partner? How long has this been happening? What do you need to do to rectify this situation?

Love Your Woman – Exercise

Intimacy

The key to renewing intimacy is spending time with your partner enjoying each other’s company. This intimate time can be soothing and intense with a partner, because it is both visual and kinesthetic. Intimacy is a state of arousal. It is not a state of sexual arousal but the combination of arousal you can experience with your partner emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically when you focus your energies in combination.

Try this Energetic Intimacy Meditation together with your partner. It is a great balance to the Dark Energy Meditation you did last week.

Lie down together and hold each other, remove as many clothes as you feel comfortable with and lie still and silent. Lie facing each other. Do this for a considerable time, longer than might feel comfortable. Feel the energy, the soul of your partner and monitor your emotions and feelings. Sense each other’s heartbeat, feel their breathing.

Try synchronizing your breathing so that when one is breathing out the other is breathing in. As you lie facing each other feel the energy in your breathe circulate between you. You, the man, breathes it in through your mouth and breathe it out through your genital area. Your partner breathes it in through her genital area and breathes it out through her mouth. Keep cycling this way for a time.

When you start to feel distracted, it’s time to go further.

Deciding which one of you goes first, you’ll place one hand on your partners chest and close your eyes. Your other hand is still connected to theirs while your hand on their heart leads into a new visualization. Picture water around you and let that grow, picturing a huge body of water that you two are floating within. What does your partner’s heart share with you that you need or want to know? Your answer lies within what you ‘see’ in the water you’re floating in. Is it dark and stormy or is it colorful and full of ocean spray? What do you feel and see?

Then swap and let the other try it.

When both of you have finished with this visualization, share what you see and share your experiences with each other. This will help to bring you both into an energetic alignment with each other and it will also help to offer a sanctuary of emotional surrender. With an openness to intimacy, you will be more willing to make the effort to take the time with each other, and explore each others desires openly. The key is to take your time. Appreciate each step, each moment of the process of embrace and keep an open mind to where things will go.

Fears, anxieties and frustrations with yourself and your partner can be released step by step by implementing these exercises, encourage openness and emotional embrace. The sky is the limit! So fly on! And see where this beautiful engagement with each other can lead you. You never know how exquisite your romance can become, even if you’ve been partners for years.


Read the following articles to open up your perspective…

Other articles by Sat Purusha:

Other relevant articles:


Previous: Session 10: Have Sexual Polarity

Next: Session 12: Be The Man


Session 3: Be Grounded

Self-Confidence, Being Grounded, Loving Yourself

In ‘Be Grounded and Loving’ you will learn that another essential quality in a man is the ability to be grounded. From the solidity of this grounding comes the ability to love and be loved. Where these collide is in self-love. Your ability to love yourself is a basic requirement for moving forward on this journey. You will work on your self-confidence, allowing you to be able to love yourself and therefore, love others. It is crucial that you get this right and that you understand this process.

Be Grounded – Summary

Self-Confidence

Your expectations, your choices, values, and beliefs are created by your unconscious mind. If you change your unconscious pattern of thought, you can change the basis of your life. Men seemed to be totally unaware of how they present themselves and how they’re seen by others. There’s a number of very specific issues that show what’s going on. Deal with those and you will change how people perceive you. They include: Clothes, Hair, Stance, Expression, Walk, Tone, Speech, Communication, Body Language, Attitude, Presence, Gratitude.

Being Grounded

It means is that you’re in touch with reality. You are able to resist pressure from those around you. You’re able to be certain in yourself and enable others to feel certain around you. Once you rid yourself of any doubt, you find you can accept all that you are. Look at others only to model them and absorb what is great in them.

Loving Yourself

To love yourself means to accept yourself as you are, and come to terms with those aspects of yourself you cannot change. It means to have self-respect, a positive self-image, and unconditional self-acceptance. It means having a healthy regard for yourself, knowing that you are a worthy human being. It is important to remind yourself that no one is perfect. You have strengths and weaknesses and you possess the resources to work on improving yourself.

You are unique in the specific talents and abilities you have to offer. In order to appreciate yourself is up to you to discover what makes you unique and to go further in developing those talents. You have a responsibility to yourself to do so. You cannot sit around and wait for approval from others. You need to work on accepting yourself. You are the only you you have and it’s in your best interest to be the best you can be.

How do you love yourself?

  • You do so by investing in and working on your personal growth and development.
  • You take care of your body by eating well. Exercise and get plenty of rest.
  • Don’t neglect your spirit or you will lack balance and feel that something is missing.
  • If you don’t love yourself things can happen to restrict your ability to live well.

To be able to truly love someone without attachment or possessiveness, you have to fully accept yourself with all the flaws, mistakes and inadequacies you may have.

But if you just rely on those around you to teach you about love, you fall into a passive way of coming to love yourself. I prefer to use my ability to love myself to show others how to love me. That creates an interaction that grows and builds. Learn to love others so you can learn to love yourself.


Be Grounded – Worksheet

Set aside time to think through your answers to the questions. They are intended to get you thinking about loving yourself. Write your answers either in this worksheet or start a journal. Also write your emotional or other reactions.

  1. Honestly ask the question, do you love yourself? If you are unsure then ask yourself: can you love yourself?
  2. If you answered yes then write down all the ways you love yourself, write down all the things you love about yourself. You can be honest no-one else is going to read this.
  3. If you answered no or aren’t sure then write down all the parts of yourself that get in the way. What is it you aren’t sure of? What don’t you like?
  4. Can you let go of the things that get in the way? What would it take to love yourself? What are the things you could love about yourself?

Be Grounded – Exercise

Write down four things you feel about yourself in each of the following areas:

  • Relationships with Others
  • Day to Day Functioning
  • Personality
  • Appearance

Go back over your answers and look at the extent to which they show strength or weakness.

Re-write your answers bearing in mind the following:

  • Celebrate the strengths you identify in the exercise.
  • Look at weakness from the opposite perspective.
  • Recognise hidden or overlooked talents.
  • Note where weakness specifically occurs and where it doesn’t.
  • Let go of judgements.
  • Eliminate hurtful words that just don’t belong.

Re-write them.

  • Relationships with Others
  • Day to Day Functioning
  • Personality
  • Appearance

Now look at how different the view you see is. Get to know the person you now show yourself to be.

As you go through the course, return to this exercise from time to time and re-do it.


Read the following articles to open up your perspective…

Other articles by Sat Purusha:

Other relevant articles:


Previous: Session 2: Understand Your Influences

Next: Session 4: Live In Your Power


David DeAngelo/Eben Pagan Finally Finds Love

I received an extraordinary email from Eben Pagan recently. That's Eben Pagan who made millions as David DeAngelo of Double Your Dating.

He is the man who is famous for popularising dating and The Game amongst men, in his own words,

… probably helped more men around the world how to be successful in dating than anyone else. Millions of men have read my newsletters, watched my videos and purchased my books and dating success programs.

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How to Love a Man — 10 Steps for Women

I rise to the challenge of supporting women, so here is the lowdown.

A month ago I wrote a popular post about ‘How To Love A Woman – 10 Ways A Man Can Love‘ with my recommendations to men on how to love their woman. In it I said,

How often do you hear men say, “My wife doesn’t understand me.” What they really mean is, “I don’t understand my wife.

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10 Men Who Cant Love — Is That You?

men who cant love

Men and love, it's important to consider men who can't find love.

In another article I looked at “How to Love a Woman“. In talking about men in love I said,

It’s an overwhelming emotion you have about another person, an emotion that you can’t truly explain but you can’t get rid of. It makes you want to be with that person, hold them, touch them, have sex with them. It shows itself as an exchange of energy, a polarity, that excites your soul. Love makes you feel great and totally transforms life.

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A 40 Day Challenge For Men — Day 2

Dealing With Chaos — Do You Love Yourself?

In learning how to love others it is critical to start by loving yourself. If you are unable to love yourself you are unable to love someone else. This is something men, particularly, have trouble with. They might respect themselves, think they’re absolutely amazing, but loving themselves, that’s a bit sissy. No it’s not!

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