My Father Was An Angry Man

My sons learned from what I did, not from what I said. They inherited what I learned from my father and he learned from his, to be angry.

My son came back from touring in the UK with his band and came to me for advice. He was a punk drummer at the time, energetic and fast, with his own idiosyncratic life as an artist and musician. His life was sorted out, and he loved what he was doing.

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Be The Man Your Woman Will Love

When I talk about 'How To Love a Woman', I really mean 'How To Be The Man Your Woman Will Love'. It is about how you are, as a man, in yourself. How you show up, how you portray yourself? It is about more than learning how to love, it is learning how to live.

In the story of my relationship with my wife I talk about the shift I made, about the transformation. It is important to understand that the shift was not where I suddenly learned about women and how to love them. It was where I suddenly learned about myself, who I was, who I was trying to be. I came to see how important this was to any potential partner.

Men, you start to relate to a woman because you are attracted by her. You realise, later, that you do not know how to go beyond that attraction. You do not know how to love her, how to get her to love you. You want to love her and you want the relationship to grow and be powerful.

You discover something important when you embark on a relationship. You discover that women are different from men. You discover that it is not enough to have a relationship with a woman. Continue reading →

How To Be A Good Father – Be Engaged

Recently I found myself face to face with the question 'How To Be A Good Father', all because of some girls fascinated with flamenco.

Urmila and I had dinner at ‘El Gaucho’ on Mojacar Playa. It’s a fabulous Argentinian steak house that has live Flamenco on a Friday night. It’s normally full but during August – Spanish holiday month – it’s chaos.

There were at least a dozen 8-10 year old girls in flamenco costumes, with their families. Seeing them all dancing on stage together was not what I went out for!

My eye was caught, however, by the British family at the table next to us. There were the mother and father and three young girls in the 8-10 year age range. What caught my eye was the behaviour, or lack of it, of the father.

He was just not engaged with his daughters, he seemed to leave it all to his wife, that was a mother’s task.

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The Challenge of Being a Modern Man – Can You Cope?

The modern man is in serious trouble and the impact on our society is enormous.

So says GoodSirs in ‘5 Hard Facts You Ought To Know About The Modern Man‘. It goes on to say,

If you know a man being there for his family, pursuing a life worth living, and handling his business, give him a pat on the back. Why? Because according to statistics, guys like that are becoming more and more uncommon in our culture.

I’m sure the statistics are true, as far as any statistics can be true, I am not writing here to challenge them. What I disgaree with is that they describe the modern man. I think that we, as men, are richer than that and that there is more hope than the article allows for. But it is hope that I am writing about not the facts. It is the future that I look to. It is the possibilities in men than give me a vision for the future.

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Manifesto For Men—Feminine Men?

Men need to apologise to women! Men need to set the record straight! Men need to establish a new paradigm! Men need to find their feminine! Do we need feminine men?

With the growth of blogs there is a growth in men feeling they need to explore where they are. Is this necessary or even helpful? What is it that established men like this?

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Guide To Success – There’s No One Moment

guide to success

Gary Vaynerchuk is an incredible communicator and an honest, passionate human being.

Gary is a powerful guide to success. I recently watched a webinar on which he was the guest. He impressed me with his sheer energy and with his straightforward and blunt manner. He is so refreshing in this world of people who whirl you around and keep you hanging on so they can extract more money out of you. He is a great role model for men to learn from.

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