Union and polarity between men and women create a world defined by balance. It is a world of power and strength for both.
The more men come to terms with their masculinity, the more the tension seems to grow between men and women. Yet, from my perspective and my experience, this shift should bring us together. The stress and tension between men and women stem from misunderstanding and confusion. It, so often, comes from people seeing the world in terms that are too simplistic. Masculinity varies for each man dependent on personality, family and culture. The common thread is a set of characteristics that allow men to feel masculine.
Join Dr. Vibe and Sat Purusha as they host the discussion 'Men And Sexual Abuse'.
I write about health, spirituality and masculinity. I explore what masculinity means in relation to the rest of men’s lives. As part of my engagement with others interested the areas I write about I had a conversation with Dr Vibe. We looked at the area of sexual abuse, and its significance in the lives of men and in my life. It has become a cause celebre in thge Uk where revelations continue to hit the headlines. Why is this subject si important? What can we doi to change the situation?
A new scandal in Britain has highlighted the extent of sexual abuse of boys in the game.
I have never been a fan of football in the UK. It has, for me, been too closely associated with racism and violence. Football (or soccer as it is called in the US) is a man’s game in the world outside the US. It brings men together and creates an atmosphere where they can bond and experience the rituals of battle in a safe atmosphere. It has been accepted as an essential part of British and European male culture.
What it is like to be woman who is not listened to and suppressed. What men can do to fill this gender gap. Today I felt the pain of being a woman… Today I felt the shame of being a man…
We sat in the cafe, me drinking an Americano and she a Capuccino, talking about our past, feeling our way through the pain and shame of our previous lives. The partners we had mistreated and been mistreated by. The parents who had shamed us into submission, who had distorted our views of reality. Mostly we talked about how long it had taken us to understand and accept the culture of domination and suppression, the culture we had both, unknowingly, bought into many years ago.
Many men and women unconsciously collaborate in maintaining domination by men. One of the factors at the heart of this is men's need to be mothered by women. For the situation to change men need to let go of this need.
Why is it that men continue to allow women to mother them? Why is it that men do not seem to be able to move beyond their childhood? Why is it that so many men refuse to take on the level of maturity needed to let go of this need?
I have felt a need to take control over what I do in life and have had many reasons to question this over the years. It is part of the characteristics of masculinity.
I find myself drawn into being in charge or leading. In any group situation I find that I see what we need to do to make a group vision work and that I work to create this. In committees I find myself chairing them to create a common vision. I see that this is about my mind and the skills I have developed over my life. I also see it as an expression of myself as a man. I have the ability to focus and see the way ahead—the vision—as well as what needs doing to get there—the detail. It is a part of what I see as my masculinity that I am proud of.
I find the term ‘rape culture’ offensive, but in hearing the British Health Secretary reporting to the British Parliament on the Savile Affair, I question whether being offended is valid any more.
When I was 16 years old, in 1964, a British TV show featuring pop music started. ‘Top of the Pops’ was an iconic show from the BBC. It came from an old church in Manchester that had been turned into a TV studio. I used to pass it by bus on my way to and from school. I can remember seeing the queues of girls hoping to get in and see their favorite ‘pop stars’. It was like nothing that had been presented before and the first presenter was a man destined to become famous—perhaps infamous would be better—and an icon of my generation.
I look at the anger surrounding the recent shooting in the US, and explains how it all relates to an expression of personal inadequacy.
Anger is a part of all our lives whether it comes from inside or whether we experience it from other people. Anger is a recurring theme in relations between men and women both on a personal and cultural level. The recent shooting in the US has generated countless pages both about the shooter’s anger and the anger of those reacting to him and what he did. Much of that anger has been directed at a perceived battle between men and women, some of it has been about the pressure of men’s entitlement and the effect this has on women.