Talk to your wife with compassionate truth. She wants to feel great and there is no need for you to be truthful about ‘the dress’. Tell her what you feel and let the dress go. You are being truthful and compassionate.
How I came to terms with what it means to tell the truth and be authentic. How Yoga Philosophy was the key.
Three events over the last few weeks have helped me to re-consider my approach to telling the truth. You know that moment when your wife comes out in a new dress, as you are getting ready to go out for a celebration dinner. The moment you see it you think it is hideous and she asks you if she looks good in it. You stand in thought for a moment—not too long otherwise she will know something is wrong—deciding whether to tell the truth. The problem is deciding what the truth is, and deciding how to say it to her.
I have found that Yoga has enabled me to balance my personality and find my 'Still Point'. I use it to observe myself and deepen my masculinity with compassion, awareness and understanding. It has transformed me into a man who is both more alive and calmer.
My local Yoga Studio started a Men’s Yoga Class. It was mostly men who were new to Yoga and who struggled with the postures. Men tend to be strong but stiff, we tend to be overweight and are not used to exploring this in the company of others. We were a far cry from the nimble women you see in the Yoga books, but we struggled on, taking care of our damaged joints. We stretched and still appeared to be immobile. I loved that my body started moving again.
My life is changing, not the continual change that is always there—the arrow of time—but a dramatic shift that recognises the true me. This has been coming at me as a raging bull, something I can no longer ignore. In order to embrace it I need to acknowledge who I have been, who I am and who I am becoming. I am Purusha: Spiritual Man.
In my life I have been a seeker. As a teenager I sought a spiritual answer to an unknown question. I tried to understand where to look for the answer. What did I want? Why was I even looking? In the different approaches I tried, from Christianity to Yoga, I found many ideas to pursue, but no solutions.
In Tantra one thing has had a powerful effect on me, the special relationship between men and women. The story of Kali draws powerful lessons for men from this. I will explore this using the words of women...
Kali and Tantra are closely linked. One of the aspects of Tantra that has had a powerful effect on me has been its special relationship between men and women. It treats men and women as gods and goddesses to revere and worship. This is a powerful starting point from which to understand yourself as a man.