This 40 day cycle started by looking at the need for us to love ourselves. “Start by loving yourself”, I said, “This is not being selfish. If you are unable to love yourself you are unable to love someone else.” This is a vital element in all forms of love and appreciation.
When this self-love becomes all there is, when it ends up excluding other people then things go wrong. When the focus is constantly on yourself then it becomes unhealthy. The ego takes over as you become the most important person in your life. You can lose all perspective and cease to be open to the possibility of change.
Loving yourself means letting go of your ego, letting go of your self-importance. Loving yourself means you can let others into your life and it means that you can place them first. You love yourself so you can spend your energy on others.
The spotlight will always be on me, but it’s something I’m learning to live with as the years go by.David Beckham
When I was young I had an issue with self-esteem and set about changing my approach to it.
I worked on myself, focused on myself and worked to find out what people thought of me. I asked others to fill out questionnaires about me and give me feedback. I learned a lot about myself but I missed the embarrassment that people felt in doing this. I missed what they really felt.
My sensory acuity had disappeared in pursuit of how I was and what I should do about myself. When I began to focus on others, due to realising all this, I learned far more about myself. I didn’t stop loving myself but I ceased to be obsessed with myself.
Sensory acuity is a vital tool in understanding ourselves. It allows us to be aware of what others feel, even if they don’t tell us. Sensory acuity will tell us when we are concentrating too much on ourselves and leaving others out of the picture.
- Assuming you have dealt with the issue of self-love, that you are ok with who and how you are, how much do you still focus on yourself?
- Think about how others see you. Does this come easily? Can you let go of what you think about yourself and sit in someone else’s shoes?
- What would your intimate partner or close business partner say to you about how you behave? Would you listen to them?
- Watch a film of your life in your mind, what strikes you as most important with regards to your inter-action with others?