I have felt a need to take control over what I do in life and have had many reasons to question this over the years. It is part of the characteristics of masculinity.
I find myself drawn into being in charge or leading. In any group situation I find that I see what we need to do to make a group vision work and that I work to create this. In committees I find myself chairing them to create a common vision. I see that this is about my mind and the skills I have developed over my life. I also see it as an expression of myself as a man. I have the ability to focus and see the way ahead—the vision—as well as what needs doing to get there—the detail. It is a part of what I see as my masculinity that I am proud of.
Does the male menopause exist? Assessing opinions, the field seems to be divided. It certainly doesn’t have such a specific physical component as it does for women, our ‘reproductive organs’ are fully functional throughout the full course of our lives.
We do not suffer from the hormone imbalance that our female friends experience in their monthly cycles. Overall men are much more ‘steady’.
The way for us to move forward as men is to develop our own norms based on our core masculine characteristics and our response to cultural conditioning not based on the dominant cultural norms; that is create our own personal masculinity.
This move away from the feminine was achieved in tribal societies through initiation and ceremony. In modern society we have lost this blunting our access to our masculine characteristics and making the shift more problematic and painful. The lack of involvement of fathers in this process makes the situation worse.
The result is increasing conflict between men and women because men either fail to make the transition or they over-compensate and dominate women.
Saturday was Queens Day in Holland. It was a time when everything goes orange and everyone has fun, it was a time I experienced male rituals in the small town of Eemnes through Tonnetje Steken.
What I loved was not just that people had fun but that they had fun with family and friends in their town. People were enjoying themselves because they knew the people they were spending time with and they enjoyed making fools of themselves.