Sex is important to men, not just because it is fun, but also because it is a way of establishing a deep connection with women.
Men want sex, but they want the right kind of sex. They do not want the old, macho, sex where they just go for quick pleasure. They do not want to dominate their woman and hope she enjoys herself. They do not want to hope for the best, hope that they get it right, hope their desire is returned. In this age of integrated, mature men it is important to understand a man’s needs, but more importantly, it is important to understand a woman’s needs.
"And if I could hold on / Through the tears and the laughter / Would it be beautiful / Or just a beautiful disaster?"
The lyrics of a Kelly Clarkson song speak to me of the pain of love. They speak to me of the idea that love is hard but worthwhile. They speak to me of someone who doesn’t know the way out, the way through to the sunlight. What’s beyond the tears and laughter?
Love is such an over-used word that people commonly don’t know what it means. They talk about loving and being loved and all they see is connection. But what is the connection? Is it need, desire, control or love?
I love seeing male bonding. I love seeing the way men simply love each other's company without the need to talk or gossip. This is true male intimacy.
On a beautiful Saturday morning by the Sneekermeer in Holland, bright and cold, looking out over the water I see a typical picture of Male Bonding. Two men sitting in a boat fishing. Two men with their backs to each other, not talking but enjoying each other’s company.
Bubbles is a Spanish Water Dog. Her favourite game is to chase balls that you throw for her. How is that inspiring?
She places the ball at your feet and stands waiting for you to throw it. All the time she is focused on you, gazing expectantly into your eyes. You throw the ball and she hares after it, brings it back and the whole process starts again.