My life is changing, not the continual change that is always there—the arrow of time—but a dramatic shift that recognises the true me. This has been coming at me as a raging bull, something I can no longer ignore. In order to embrace it I need to acknowledge who I have been, who I am and who I am becoming. I am Purusha: Spiritual Man.
In my life I have been a seeker. As a teenager I sought a spiritual answer to an unknown question. I tried to understand where to look for the answer. What did I want? Why was I even looking? In the different approaches I tried, from Christianity to Yoga, I found many ideas to pursue, but no solutions.
Narcissism is a term from psychopathology, but it’s essentially a fancy term for extreme selfishness and, ultimately, narcissism is a win-lose game.
Lion Goodman is CEO of the Luminary Leadership Institute. He has 35 years experience as a coach, counselor, and healer. Lion is the creator of The BeliefCloset Process, a proprietary methodology for shifting beliefs at the core of the psyche. He served as Director of Men’s Programs at The Shift Network, where he created programs including the Ultimate Men’s Summit. His writings have been widely published, and he is the author of three books: ‘Creating on Purpose’; ‘Menlightenment: A Book for Awakening Men’; and ‘Transform Your Beliefs’.
At the beginning of 2011 I said to myself, "I am now a writer". The easy part was over. I now set about finding my writing voice. I had to understand how to use my experience and learning.
I entered the third third of my life and started my third career. I have previously been a theatre lighting designer and an architectural lighting designer. These are both creative professions, so I thought it would be easy to become a writer.
The United States Declaration of Independence says, "... that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and Happiness." But how is that happiness achieved?
Recently I created an online course for men called ‘How To Love A Woman’. The course has had some success but not as much as I expected. In talking to a number of men it seems that the name and the concept did not push their buttons. I have been seeking a focus for the course that men can and will relate to. This needs to have strength to it and it needs to connect with how men achieve love and intimacy with women. In there lies power for men.
I have a friend who doesn’t get the importance of sexual polarity in a relationship. He loves that they are in a balanced relationship, each holding equal parts of the masculine and feminine. I guess it works for them, but for me it would like pushing two north poles of magnets together, repelling each other. They are great friends, but not intimate. It’s definitely safe, but certainly not passionate. They are great roommates. I am happy for them, but it’s not what I want in an intimate relationship. it feels flat to me. The masculine and feminine are like two magnets, and the principle of polarity also applies to intimate relationships: if you put their north and south poles together, they attract each other.
In thinking about my handfasting, I go back over 50 years ago to a trip to Yugoslavia, into what is now Serbia.
I was a young man on my first extensive trip abroad. I stayed with Mama Lepa (Leposava Mihailovic, my sister-in-law’s mother). This was in the days of Marshal Tito, the days when people were proud of Yugoslavia.
One morning I met an old friend of Mama Lepa’s who told my fortune using beads. I remember little about it apart from the prediction that I would be married three times. I found this strange at the time and thought it nonsense. But it lead to my handfasting.
For me great relationships are part of what makes life tick, so when I became a single man, after a long marriage, I started dating again. The prospect of a new relationship terrified and fascinated me.
I< found I was an expert in one relationship but an innocent as far as women were concerned. What could I do? How could I learn about women and great relationships?
The domination, abuse and suppression of women by men has existed throughout history. Men physically, psychologically, socially and emotionally dominate women all over the world.
Our view of the world and ourselves in it influences our view of this. Men deny it and accept it. Most men see its existence but deny any personal involvement in it, they approach it from their own needs as men and leave women to resolve their own relationship to it.
I find I need to understand this from a perspective other than my own and respond to it in a way that helps women overcome the centuries of pain and humiliation.