Union and polarity between men and women create a world defined by balance. It is a world of power and strength for both.
The more men come to terms with their masculinity, the more the tension seems to grow between men and women. Yet, from my perspective and my experience, this shift should bring us together. The stress and tension between men and women stem from misunderstanding and confusion. It, so often, comes from people seeing the world in terms that are too simplistic. Masculinity varies for each man dependent on personality, family and culture. The common thread is a set of characteristics that allow men to feel masculine.
What it is like to be woman who is not listened to and suppressed. What men can do to fill this gender gap. Today I felt the pain of being a woman… Today I felt the shame of being a man…
We sat in the cafe, me drinking an Americano and she a Capuccino, talking about our past, feeling our way through the pain and shame of our previous lives. The partners we had mistreated and been mistreated by. The parents who had shamed us into submission, who had distorted our views of reality. Mostly we talked about how long it had taken us to understand and accept the culture of domination and suppression, the culture we had both, unknowingly, bought into many years ago.
The awakening man is a warrior of the heart, he moves from love and compassion, he is noble and responsible. Jeff will talk about how you can bring forward the healthy masculine of old while being comfortable in your vulnerability.
Jeff Brown is the author of ‘Soulshaping’ an inner travelogue of his journey from archetypal male warrior to a more surrendered path, ‘Apologies To The Divine Feminine (from a warrior in transition)’ and ‘The Awakening Man’.
I look at the anger surrounding the recent shooting in the US, and explains how it all relates to an expression of personal inadequacy.
Anger is a part of all our lives whether it comes from inside or whether we experience it from other people. Anger is a recurring theme in relations between men and women both on a personal and cultural level. The recent shooting in the US has generated countless pages both about the shooter’s anger and the anger of those reacting to him and what he did. Much of that anger has been directed at a perceived battle between men and women, some of it has been about the pressure of men’s entitlement and the effect this has on women.
I used to regard the life I was leading as a lie. My fear was that people would see me as weak, indecisive and scared. I wonder whether this is typical for men?
According to Tony Robbins we all have a Primary Question. It’s a question we ask ourselves everyday of our lives, one that controls our focus and the direction of our lives. For many years my Primary Question was, “What if I’m found out?” I regarded the life I was leading as a lie, a mask, an attempt to bolster my male power. My fear was being found out by someone, by anyone. My fear was that people would see the real me, the weak, indecisive and scared me.
But have men never been more in touch with their emotions, and more honest about expressing them?
There is a “crisis of masculinity in Britain” because of the pressures rapid economic and social change have placed on masculine identity says Diane Abbott, a senior British Politician. The rise of a “Viagra and Jack Daniels culture” is an indication of the pressure young men are under to live up to “pornified ideals”.
Rape is generally about control not sex. It is about domination, usually by men of women, although it happens in other combinations as well.
In my view it is not so much a gender issue as a human issue. It is about sad people who cannot see how to live decent lives and take that out on others. What is tragic, though, is how it blights the lives of those involved. Often the lives of the victims are shattered with devastating ripple effects. The lives of the perpetuators are affected as well, often for the rest of their lives. Victims can become perpetuators, and so on.
Men and Women? Are they the same? Are they different? What is all this disagreement over Sex and Gender?
As a man I spend time thinking and writing about the experience of being a man. I look to understand my own experience and that of many other men. I do this to develop who I am and to provide other men with material that will enable them to develop who they are, to create a situation where men become men.
A critical part of this is understanding what it is to be a man, how men become men. In relation to what, you might ask. It’s important to know what not being a man looks like. Where is it that men are when they seek help from ‘Graham Reid Phoenix’?
This is an essence of the debate on Sex and Gender. What is a man and how is this man created? The point of this article is not to debate this issue but to point out where I am coming from as a writer.