What does it mean to trust someone? What is honor and how is it related to deep respect? Is it necessary for them to do what you think is right? What do they need to do to gain that trust and respect?
The answer seems to be that they do not need to do anything. The key to trust is what you do yourself and how you view other people. Your ego can destroy your ability to respect others and can fool you into thinking that you are right and the other person is wrong—therefore untrustworthy.
I recently became a Grandfather for the first time. I am overjoyed about this but aware that it is not as simple as it seems.
A year ago I became a grandfather for the first time and I am still in a daze about it. It is over thirty years since I became a father. I loved it at the time but I have no desire to go through it again. Being a grandfather is, however, completely different, I am glad to say.
I attended the first night of a Punk Music Tour and discovered what inclusion for those with learning disabilities really means.
There is a lot of talk on The Good Men Project about inclusion across the areas of gender, gender identity, race and other important issues. But the topic of how we treat those with learning disabilities like everyone else is just now coming to the forefront of the discussion. No matter how hard we work to include those who seem to be not like us, many people still find those with learning disabilities a challenge. I know I do. Autism and Downs Syndrome can be especially difficult as the effect is to disable simple communication. If we cannot communicate through words with someone how do we include them in our life?
I often felt the urge to exert control, the need to get people to listen to me. What happened when I resorted to violence to be in charge?
I left home and school at the age of eighteen and went off to work in the theatre, far away from home. I was rebelling against what I felt was a restrictive background. I was shy, not at all sure of myself, and not in control of myself.
The United States Declaration of Independence says, "... that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and Happiness." But how is that happiness achieved?
Recently I created an online course for men called ‘How To Love A Woman’. The course has had some success but not as much as I expected. In talking to a number of men it seems that the name and the concept did not push their buttons. I have been seeking a focus for the course that men can and will relate to. This needs to have strength to it and it needs to connect with how men achieve love and intimacy with women. In there lies power for men.
I feel shocked and upset. I have just unfriended someone on Facebook. This is something I thought I would never do. I thought this was against my core beliefs.
I believe that Facebook is a place for public debate. It’s an open forum where we exchange views. As long as the person isn’t openly threatening, I have always felt that everyone has a right to respond, comment and have their say.
I was recently involved in a discussion where I disagreed with people’s desire to unfriend or block people who were simply rude. I love arguing; to a point. I love the process of debate. I think that’s how we evolve our society. I think that’s how we negotiate our way through the minefield of modern society.
Yet, today, I unfriended someone and removed their contribution to the debate we were having. What’s interesting is that person is an actual friend of mine, not just a Facebook friend. That person is someone I have respected and whose company I have enjoyed.
Recently I went on a trip to Turkey to look at some of the ancient sites connected with Alexander the Great. The lessons from Alexander are powerful for all of us.
He had an amazing vision of what he wanted to do in life, what he wanted to achieve. But, as we all know, moving from vision to reality can be a trial. You need certainty that what you are doing is right and you need to be able to bring your followers along with you knowing they will trust you.
Alexander used the gods and omens to confirm what he was doing as he was putting his vision into action. He deliberately modelled himself on Achilles the great mythological hero. Aligning himself with Achilles gave him stature and helped him get total respect from his men.
He would interpret events around him as omens for his battles ahead, before the great battle of Gaugamela he saw an eagle flying high in the sky, for him an omen of coming success.
The first is biological and undeniable; the second is in my character.
To understand myself as a man, I need to look at my behaviour.
In my early 50s, I was the Design Principal of a practice based in London. There were eight of us—four men and four women. The firm was owned and run by men, including me, but the main design leaders were women.