A new scandal in Britain has highlighted the extent of sexual abuse of boys in the game.
I have never been a fan of football in the UK. It has, for me, been too closely associated with racism and violence. Football (or soccer as it is called in the US) is a man’s game in the world outside the US. It brings men together and creates an atmosphere where they can bond and experience the rituals of battle in a safe atmosphere. It has been accepted as an essential part of British and European male culture.
What it is like to be woman who is not listened to and suppressed. What men can do to fill this gender gap. Today I felt the pain of being a woman… Today I felt the shame of being a man…
We sat in the cafe, me drinking an Americano and she a Capuccino, talking about our past, feeling our way through the pain and shame of our previous lives. The partners we had mistreated and been mistreated by. The parents who had shamed us into submission, who had distorted our views of reality. Mostly we talked about how long it had taken us to understand and accept the culture of domination and suppression, the culture we had both, unknowingly, bought into many years ago.
Men keep going because their wife, children, colleagues expect them to. They keep going because of the shame of giving up.
I lay under the duvet cover screaming, screaming out loud. I could feel the break coming. I felt helpless and hopeless and I did not know what to do, I did not know how to deal with my wife, with my life. I was lost; as a husband, as a man, as Graham. I knew something was wrong, something more than the clash of brute force and stubbornness, something more than titan struggle that had been going on downstairs. I was so lost I could not even work out what was wrong, I just wanted the world to go away.
Sex is something we all want, but do we enjoy it? Sex is something we all have, but does it make us feel better? My experience of sex left a lot to be desired. I did not understand my Male Sexuality.
Most of us do not want to talk about sex because we do not want to face the truth. We believe that those that do talk about sex are not telling the truth. At least we hope they are not telling the truth.