When a Man’s Responsibility Has Gone – What is There Left

Men keep going because their wife, children, colleagues expect them to. They keep going because of the shame of giving up.

I lay under the duvet cover screaming, screaming out loud. I could feel the break coming. I felt helpless and hopeless and I did not know what to do, I did not know how to deal with my wife, with my life. I was lost; as a husband, as a man, as Graham. I knew something was wrong, something more than the clash of brute force and stubbornness, something more than titan struggle that had been going on downstairs. I was so lost I could not even work out what was wrong, I just wanted the world to go away.

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Letting Go Of Anger – It Is Right But It Kicks You In The Gut

Let go of the necessity of being right. It can take courage to be silent but then you can look yourself in the eye and not flinch.

Some years ago I ran a company along with a business partner. He had founded the company years before and he was proud of what he had achieved. I put money into the company and trusted what he told me. I did not look too deep because I was proud of what the company did and flattered to be asked to join as a director.

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If You Can Keep Your Head – You’ll Be A Man

'If' by Rudyard Kipling is a poem that speaks to the heart of a masculinity that is rare today.

The idea of being a man, today, has been caught up in a gender discussion that is purely political. It was started by the feminist movement to help women stake a claim to equality in a male dominated world.

There is nothing wrong with that discussion, indeed it’s one that is necessary, but it should not dominate all thought and discussion about men, manhood and masculinity.

In the poem Kipling does not talk about men in relation to women, he does not discuss male domination or patriarchy. He does not mention loving a woman. He discusses men in relation to other men. He explores the concept of being a man as opposed to not being a man.

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How To Be A Man – How To Be Present and Focused

How to be a man? Most men don’t think they need to know. Most men just carry on as if everything is OK. Can’t you see how you are losing out?

I am organising an evening event, here in Spain, on ‘Sizzling Relationships’. It’s based on the work I do with men, helping them learn how to be a man. There are lots of women signing up, even though my work is mainly with men. They are having difficulties, however, getting their men to come.

I am also having difficulties getting men to sign up for my course on ‘How To Love A Woman’..

What’s happening? Where are they? Where are the men? Don’t they want to know ‘How To Be A Man’?

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Emotional Abuse – I Still Want To Kick The Shit Out Of Him…

Being dominating and using mental and emotional abuse is as bad as being physically abusive.

I was in Glasgow with my parents on our annual trip back to Scotland to visit family. I must have been in my early teens. I went off for the day to explore the city on my own. I’ve always enjoyed walking around new and strange cities. My love of steam trains (they still existed then) took me to St Enoch Station.

Standing on the steps looking at my map and wondering where to go next, I was approached by a man seeking to help me.

I was the typical innocent abroad and trusted this man. We started talking and he offered to buy me a coffee in the station cafe. I accepted.

We sat in a quiet corner and at one point he gently took my hand and laid it on his leg. I realised my hand was on his erect penis. I was horrified and only then realised why this man was so helpful. I got away as quick as I could.

Although nothing serious happened to me this experience has remained with me for 50 years now.

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