17. Do You Accept Your Personalities?

Most people think of themselves as a single personality, They are who they are and others need to accept that.

Sometimes they have a suspicion that all is not as it seems though. They don’t always seem to be what they think they ought to be. People also seem to change constantly, they ride the wave of life and shift their approach according to what is going on around them.

What’s really happening is that you are many different people inside. Yes, there is a dominant personality but there are also many other parts that compete for attention. This internal battle can break out in reaction to seemingly random events. You looked earlier at your mothers and fathers; it’s likely that you needed to be different people for them. Your parents are individuals with their own demands and pressures, as children you would respond to these in different ways.

“Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.”
(Mel Brooks)

When I was younger I became concerned at my unexplained bouts of anger, they always seemed to come from nowhere.

Anger seemed to be central to many of my relationships with other people, including my family. In trying to resolve and deal with this I came to understand how my anger developed in response to my dominant father. It wasn’t his fault, it was just my way of responding to him. I saw him as a role model and copied him. It was so embedded that it took time for me to see that it wasn’t my core, it was one of my personalities.

I was able to let the anger go when I fully accepted this part of me. I had tried to suppress it, resulting in it gaining even more power. Once I saw that this was part of me and I integrated it within me, I found it’s power lessened. It seemed to be not so important any more. It’s still there but it doesn’t come out very much any more.

I know I have other personalities, my aim is to bring them together as friends or family.

  • Begin by understanding your different personalities. Think about the different ways you behave with people, list them and give them names.
  • Go somewhere on your own and talk to the personalities. Talk out loud, have a discussion about who they are, where they came from and why they are here.
  • Get yourself to a point where you feel comfortable with all the parts of yourself. You know them and understand them.
  • The final stage is to fully accept these personalities, whether they seem to serve you or not. Ultimately all our sub-conscious emotions and actions are here to serve us at some level. Come to accept this and enjoy yourself, literally.

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Other Posts in the series 'Dealing With Chaos'

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