Having a perspective on what you like and don’t like about yourself leads naturally to the question of change.
Change is something that is constant in everyone’s life and something most men shy away from. Natural change ensures you grow older and shift your viewpoint on life. Conscious change, however, can be traumatic or it can be liberating.
A vision gives you a target to move your life towards, it encapsulates a process of change you build into your life. The question, though, is does it create the change that is most beneficial to you? Is this change conscious enough to deal with the issues you have so far identified? It is important that the change you seek is to yourself not to an outside situation.
Think back to the exercise on control and remember the change needs to be about you.
When I left my first marriage I determined to change myself, to get rid of the mask I was wearing.
It took time to integrate all the areas of my life and be the totality of all that I was. I changed my approach to the separated lives I led; work, family, friends, personal development. I changed my approach to what I revealed and what I hid, I decided to reveal everything to everyone.
That decision proved to be far more difficult than I had imagined. I had found comfort in controlling how much people knew of me. I had developed a number of masks that effectively created a different person for each area of my life. The integration was a release, however, It allowed me to see who I really was. I found I enjoyed this new discovery.
This work is still in progress, I still seek greater integration of all parts of my life.
- Do you find you look to change the world around you? Do you spend your time telling other people how they should be? Do you feel others have lost their way?
- Do you find you are looking to change yourself, what you feel, how you react, how you think about yourself? Do you want to do something about the aspects of yourself you don’t like?
- What is it, specifically, that you would like to change? Is it developing the areas you like or re-thinking the areas you don’t like?
- Where would this take you? What would you become? How different would you be?
Other Posts in the series 'Dealing With Chaos'
- 06. Do You Need, Desire Or Love
- 07. Show Me How To Control Others
- 08. Do You Find Intimacy Difficult
- 09. Suffering Is Resistance To Pain
- 10. Look for the Learning in Emotional Pain
- 11. Are You Seeking The Truth?
- 12. Can You Look Forwards And Backwards?
- 13. Do You Blame Or Take Responsibility?
- 14. Are You Aware Of Your Masculinity?
- 15. Enjoy the Dusk, Celebrate the Day
- 16. Dealing With Chaos - Acceptance
- 17. Do You Accept Your Personalities?
- 18. What Do You Like About Yourself?
- 19. What Don’t You Like About Yourself?
- 21. What Are You Willing To Do To Change?
- 22. Describe The Ideal You, The New You
- 23. How Will You Achieve Change?
- 24. Is Your Life A Construction Site Or A Garden?
- 25. How To Live With Uncertainty
- 26. Can You Let Go Of Your Ego?
- 27. Can You Now Accept Who You Are?
- 28. Enjoying The Person You Are
- 29. Celebrate Who You Are - Be Outrageous!
- 30. Dealing With Chaos - Authenticity
- 31. Do You Live Your Life At Full Potential?
- 32. What Vision Do You Have?
- 33. Do You Walk Your Talk?
- 34. What Are Your Spheres Of Influence?
- 35. How Do You Use Your Sexuality?
- 36. How Are You And Your Family?
- 37. How Do You Use Your Power And Strength?
- 38. Can Others Rely On You?
- 39. What Are You Dishonest About?
- 40. What Will You Stake Your Life On?
- 41. What Is Passion? What Drives You?
- 42. Do You Know Your Truth? Do You Speak It?
- 43. What Will Life Look Like Now?
- 44. Dealing With Chaos - Participants Open Their Hearts
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I have found that Yoga has enabled me to balance my personality and find my 'Still Point'. I use it to observe myself and deepen my masculinity with compassion, awareness and understanding. It has transformed me into a man who is both more alive and calmer.- November 2, 2016
Today I Felt the Shame of Being a Man
Graham experiences what it is like to be woman who is not listened to and suppressed. He looks at what men can do to fill this gender gap. Today I felt the pain of being a woman… Today I felt the shame of being a man…- October 26, 2016
Obesity in Men: What Is The Truth
Britain’s fattest man, Carl Thompson, was 33 years old and weighed 65 stone when he died in 2015. For those not from Britain, that is 410 kilos or 910 pounds. He was housebound, bed-ridden and alone. This was a man whose life had moved out of balance, and who ended up in a miserable, early death. This is an example of the issue of obesity in men.- October 16, 2016