The Pursuit Of Happiness – How Men Can Be Happy

The United States Declaration of Independence says, "... that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and Happiness." But how is that happiness achieved?

Recently I created an online course for men called ‘How To Love A Woman’. The course has had some success but not as much as I expected. In talking to a number of men it seems that the name and the concept did not push their buttons. I have been seeking a focus for the course that men can and will relate to. This needs to have strength to it and it needs to connect with how men achieve love and intimacy with women. In there lies power for men.

Reading Brendon Burchard’s book ‘The Charge‘ I came across this,

Nothing, and I mean nothing, provides a greater charge in life than a lit-up love life. Psychologists have found that the happiest 10 percent of people on earth have one thing in common: they all have rich, fulfilling social lives and intimate relationships.

This seems to be a great focus for men, a way to help them seek the answers to how to love and find happiness. Perhaps the need and desire for happiness will move men to find ways to improve their intimate relationships.


But how can men create happiness in their lives? I suggest that the following 10 ways can be used as a starting point to achieve happiness. I dare you to practice them and see where it leads:

The Pursuit Of Happiness – How Men Can Be Happy

1. Relationship

Creating social connections opens you out into the world and helps you see where you stand as a man. This brings personal growth, contributing to your self-esteem and therefore your happiness. Intimate relationships create the most happiness through their combination of emotional and physical energy.

2. Achievement

Whether it is through work or other pursuits, achievement ranks high on any man’s list. Living life to your full potential is enormously satisfying when it is directed towards fulfilling your purpose. Adding creativity to the mix makes this extremely powerful.

3. Positive Thinking

Focusing your mind on positive thoughts shifts how your brain works. Living a life of acceptance and gratitude enables you to see the best in people, including yourself. This brings about a level of contentment that allows the troubles of the world to recede in importance.

4. Freedom

When the pursuit of freedom allows and seeks freedom for all it is powerful. Choice is an essential element that sees its main expression in self-control. The exercising of control over yourself, rather than others, is a hallmark of justice.

5. Contribution

Seeking to express yourself through what you do for others has always been as sign of a man. Giving either yourself or your abundance to others with humility moves you towards a sense of oneness. The ability to feel that oneness gives you a sense of yourself in context.

6. Empathy

Empathy comes from vulnerability, from a willingness to step forward and understand others before yourself. It comes from a willingness to give with no thought for any return. Love has empathy at its core.

7. Movement

Exercise creates endorphins, making you feel good. Filling your body with oxygen through deep breathing creates a feeling of energy. The flexibility that comes from good exercise produces a sense of lightness and happiness.

8. Stillness

In contrast the ability to be still can produce a deep sense of yourself, a deep sense of your inner core. Through meditation and mindfulness you can let the world fade away while you connect with yourself. This can bring such a sense of peace that there can be nothing to interfere with your happiness.

9. Authenticity

The ability to not only be yourself but also to be seen to be yourself is a key component of authenticity. When you trust and are trusted you are respected by others. Respect in a quiet way, respect with a sense of gratitude that you put others before yourself. Being authentic takes courage and authenticity, exposing everything and showing all aspects of your character.

10. Confidence

When you practice these you will feel confidence in a powerful way. Using that confidence intelligently you can pursue the ambitions you have for yourself and those you have a responsibility for, be they friends, family or colleagues. The leadership you show, the leadership they bestow on you, will create a happiness that encourages to go further, enables you to create more.


Happiness is often portrayed as a light, simple concept. One that merely involves laughter and enjoyment. Whilst they are vital components they do not show a full picture. The Pursuit of Happiness can be done but there are many factors to it.


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