This morning she said to me, “I feel angry, sad, lost and alone. I can feel you, but I can’t feel you.” What did that mean? How do I deal with that? What do I do? I can guess what it’s about but it seems an extraordinary over reaction, or is it? How can I understand women?
Does the chaos of your woman freak you out? Do you find yourself retreating into your man cave? Do you wonder what on earth is going on? Do you wonder what you have done to deserve this?
I used to feel that. I used to just not understand what was the matter. When the storm happened, and it was centred around her, I used to become scared about what was going, worried about what I had done to create it. When it happened I focused on me and what I had done!
Then I realised IT WAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. It was not my fault. One of the characteristics of being feminine is the tendency to chaos, the ability to be out of control, for no specific reason. For a woman everything has equal importance in her brain and when it gets too much, there can be a letting off of steam.
Marilyn Monroe said,
I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.
What she said is the key to being with a woman. We need to understand all her moods, everything she is.
We need to be able to stand like a rock and hold on to our core. We need to know that it is alright and that it will blow over.
A woman does not want us to solve the situation, she wants us to listen. She wants us to understand what she is feeling and leave her to feel it. She wants us to be with her and hold her while giving her the space to swirl around and cause chaos. Most of all she wants us not to be knocked about by how she is, she wants us to stand firm in the midst of it and let her carry on until it is finished.
Then we will get her at her best, and she will be amazing and beautiful and loving.