Session 5

A Life of Purpose

You will learn to live a life of purpose. When you are on purpose, you can live your truth and be authentic in all you do. This enables you to live in the uncertainty that demands vulnerability. Vulnerability that is not weak but strong.

Truth

Seeking after truth is really seeking after growing confidence, openness and love. Not knowing what you want, what you have, where you are going leaves you rudderless and directionless because you don't know the truth. The truth you are seeking is inside.

To change is to become something you don't yet fully understand. To grow is to become something new and something unknown. To move forward you need to be able to accept the uncertainty of that uncharted territory. To progress into this in full knowledge that you don't know where the future will lead is next to exciting and the sign of a great leader, of someone who has their life in their hands.

Recognizing that you're important is an essential part of being a man. Seeing this enables you to speak your own personal truth, no matter what it is. What does matter is that you own it and speak it, and take action on it.

Purpose

Our purpose isn't to arrive at a destination where we find inspiration, as the purpose of dancing isn't to end up at a particular spot on the floor. The purpose of dancing and life is to enjoy every moment and step, regardless of where we are when the music ends.

When you allow it, your life's purpose will emerge over time as the by product of the joy, space, clarity created by spending your days engaged in what's meaningful and rewarding.

Finding your purpose and getting it right is not important, taking the journey is. What you need to do is pursue all the little things that come together to make up your purpose. There is a unique answer to the question of why you're here. The words that describe it resonate with you deeply. You need to live it day by day until it shifts from a thought into an actuality.

Uncertainty

It is the point at which you decide to step into uncertainty that the future of your life is determined.

The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.

The key to masculinity is uncertainty. Accepting this shows a level of self-knowledge and courage that makes a man trustworthy. It makes a man powerful, because he can take the shifts and swirls of uncertainty that rage in this world, and still be left standing.

Once you step up to your truth, your purpose, you need to go out into the world without knowing what the result is going to be. This vulnerability that is stimulating, exhilarating and exciting will feed into the rest of your life and into your relationship.

Uncertainty is one of the six universal basic human needs identified by Tony Robbins. We are defined by the way we fulfil them and their order of importance. Adequate fulfillment of all six needs is needed to feel complete.

Needs of the Personality:

1. Certainty
2. Uncertainty
3. Significance
4. Connection and love

Needs of the Spirit:

1. Growth
2. Contribution

Worksheet

Set aside time to think through your answers to the questions. They are intended to get you thinking about truth and uncertainty. Write your answers either in this worksheet or start a journal. Also write your emotional or other reactions.

1. To what extent is your life in line with your 'truth'? Are you just following your nose or are you focused?
2. Do you do what you say you will do? Do you follow through? Do you do what you want or ask others to do, do you honour what you say to others?
3. How much certainty do you crave? What do you need in your life?
4. How much do you embrace uncertainty? To what extent can you integrate this as part of your life?

Exercise

Discover Your Life Purpose

How do you discover your real purpose in life? I'm not talking about your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. I mean the real reason why you're here at all — the very reason you exist.

If you want to discover your true purpose in life, you must first empty your mind of all the false purposes you've been taught (including the idea that you may have no purpose at all).

Here's what to do:

1. Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it's faster).
2. Write at the top, "What is my true purpose in life?"
3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn't have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
4. Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.

Usually it takes 15-20 minutes to clear your head of all the clutter and the social conditioning about what you think your purpose in life is. The false answers will come from your mind and your memories. But when the true answer finally arrives, it will feel like it's coming to you from a different source entirely.

As you go through this process, some of your answers will be very similar. You may even re-list previous answers. Then you might head off on a new tangent and generate 10-20 more answers along some other theme. And that's fine. You can list whatever answer pops into your head as long as you just keep writing.

At some point during the process (typically after about 50-100 answers), you may want to quit and just can't see it converging. You may feel the urge to get up and make an excuse to do something else. That's normal. Push past this resistance, and just keep writing. The feeling of resistance will eventually pass.

When you find your own unique answer to the question of why you're here, you will feel it resonate with you deeply. The words will seem to have a special energy to you, and you will feel that energy whenever you read them.

Discovering your purpose is the easy part. The hard part is keeping it with you on a daily basis and working on yourself to the point where you become that purpose.