Day 39 - Journey: Return
On the last night before we arrived at our house-sit we sat in an empty restaurant on the Mediterranean talking about how to resolve this matter. Out of the blue I offered a solution: getting married.
I suggested it tentatively concerned that I was just going back to my old comfort zone of family life. Was I reverting again, letting go of my new-found freedom? What would Urmila think, would she see it as an attempt to tie her down, against her wishes?
She was surprised, but liked the idea. We could still travel, we could still be free, it would just make life a lot easier. She accepted and we moved into the house in Spain and started to plan our future.
This time I was moving into a permanent connection in the full understanding of who I was and what I wanted in the world. In a sense I was going back to the start but with a completely different view of live. I was not being needy or seeking some kind of redemption. I was being me and moving forward, loving someone for herself and not for what she could give me. This was me finally on the road.
After we were married in Venice we settled in Spain and we are still here five years later. We have become residents and have bought a house here in the mountains. This is not an attempt at comfort this is creating a long-term future and life together. We both understand where we have been and we are both excited about where we are going. We love our life here and are stimulated by it.
This is not permanent here, or maybe it is. We have fixed nothing but we enjoy being together here in Spain. I am developing my life as a writer, exploring my thoughts and ideas. I am writing to inspire other people to look at and maybe re-think their lives.
Earlier in this series I talked about coming home, about finding the treasure back where I started. That is where I am now, back where I started but the difference is that I am not the same person. Yes, I am older. Yes, I am wiser. The real difference, though is that I have found my truth, I have unearthed my treasure, the one I was seeking all those years ago.
I have made many mistakes in my life, but I am thankful that I have had the opportunity to correct them, at least for myself. I have left people behind but I have also inspired people to live a better life.
That is my life now, to follow my purpose and inspire other people in their lives. I am no longer living for me, for my sole enjoyment, for my neediness. I am living for Urmila and our marriage, and I am living for the people I touch with my life and my writing.