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Day 3 — Do You Deserve Fatherly Love?

Your father is important. Whether you knew him or not, his influence lives on. Men often aspire to be their fathers and are determined never to be like him. This tension continues through the years and shapes the man you are.

Relationship With Your Father

Your attitudes are mixed up with emotion, memory and even sexuality. Whatever your view you should know what it is.

Men's base view of masculinity comes from their relationship with their father. Whether you tend to dominance or to acceptance as a man, you may well have learned it from your father. You should be aware of where your sense of masculinity comes from and whether that has helped or impeded you in life.

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's.

Robert Frost

My Father

My father dominated his family throughout his life, he did it kindly, but he still did it. My own need to dominate and persuade was learnt from him. It was my choice to see him as my role model, but I'm not sure I had any choice. I'm not sure I knew any other way during my formative years, later on, though, I did.

I always felt I needed to earn my father's love. I felt I needed to prove who I was and what I could be. Thankfully I was able to let this go before he died. I was able to know I received it.

I always remember the day he admitted to me he couldn't deal with family matters any more. It was the day he sought my help, the day he seemed to pass on the mantle.

I see the progression of fatherly influence in my own sons. It's a process we need to understand and know when to bring to an end. Sometimes we need to break the pattern and just be ourselves.