the experience of men with change and challenge

forty day challenge for men

Day 17: What Don't You Like About Yourself?

Men find it easy to identify what they don't like about themselves. For many it's physical characteristics. They have an image of a perfect 'man' and identify all the characteristics that don't match up to this perfect ideal.

Your Masks?

Do you ever use these to beat yourself up. The effect can go deep in your psyche. Some people even go so far as to have plastic surgery for the physical defects whilst other people create masks for themselves to cover up the emotional and psychological defects. Men commonly create masks, masks of masculinity, masks that show how great or capable they are.

It is important to separate things that genuinely need work from those imaginings that go on in your mind. Look at yourself objectively when thinking about this.

I’m happy being myself, which I’ve never been before. I always hid in other people, or tried to find myself through the characters, or live out their lives, but I didn’t have those things in mine. Angelina Jolie

Accepting My Disability

I was born with a club foot, a physical defect that I have never been able to ignore.

When I was young I went through many operations and much physical therapy. I could never get away from my ‘defect’. Going to a shoe shop to buy shoes has always been a major issue for me and my limp is always with me.

I have never let it interfere with my life but that doesn’t mean I have come to like it. I use it as a anchor to prevent me drifting into the idea that I am perfect. Perfection is not a great standard and I use it to ensure I never go down that road. I am comfortable with it but I don’t like it.

Accepting it but being comfortable with it is crucial for me. It allows me to create ways of dealing with it. My wife comes with me when I go shopping for shoes and she takes great pleasure in understanding what shoes will fit me and why I dismiss most styles. It’s a point of honour for her to like my foot. That means a lot to me.

Challenge

Core of Masculinity Book