Intimacy And Sex [The Twin Pillars Of An Intimate Relationship]
Intimacy and sex touch the core of any intimate relationship, they are the twin pillars that support it. Many men have issues and problems with intimacy and sex that often result in relationship breakdown. This is where there is so much confusion between men and women.
I am a man and I write from a male perspective for men. This does not mean that I write to be confrontational, quite the opposite, I write to bring men and women together but with an emphasis on how men need to look at the situation, how men need to change.
Journey
On this journey we are making together I look at a number of issues that focus on intimacy. In considering love, the focus is on how to love your partner. If you develop this ability to love you will earn the undying love of your woman. Talking about emotional relationships I show that man who understands intimacy, a man who understands love, a man who understands and can have an emotional relationship is a powerful man that will be loved because he can love.
Shifting the focus to sex I look at how to build sexual polarity with your partner. This is a vital ingredient in improving a relationship. One of the reasons that sex fades is that there isn’t sufficient polarity between the partners. There is a modern emphasis on equality that, unfortunately, can also be wrongly interpreted in a personal sense. I consider your physical relationship. This involves both of you in a relationship of equal responsibility. As the man you can lead your partner but the result does depend on two-way communication.
Attraction
Men start with attraction. They find they’re attracted to women. They realise later that having been attracted, they haven’t worked out how to love that woman, but they want to and they want the relationship to grow and become powerful.
A relationship is where you discover something important. You discover how different women are from men. It’s not enough to just be with a woman. Men bond, men can be in silence together, men can drink or watch sports together, and do nothing else. Women are not the same. As a man you discover that you need to bring more to a relationship. Being the sexy, interesting man that created the attraction in the first place is not enough. You need to be more of a man inside. You need to be stronger, more powerful and more compassionate.
Women look for more in you. Women look for real depth in a man. Once you’re beyond that first stage of attraction, that first powerful jolt of sexual polarity, women look for depth. They look for a man who’s grounded, a man who’s strong in himself, a man who knows who he is and where he’s going, a man who knows his passion in life, a man who’s focused and directed.
Men seek to know who they are and what their place is in the world. Men wonder how they can get their power back. Men want to create relationships of strength and compassion.
Intimacy
If your relationship has lost its excitement and passion then this will help you re-discover it. Passion and excitement are always there when you first meet a woman and fall in love, but you may well have experienced the passion and the excitement dying.
This is for you if you have difficulty being intimate with your partner and difficulty admitting this. Here I’m talking about emotional intimacy. Many men have difficulty being intimate with their partners.
If your understanding of intimacy differs from your partner’s, if you don’t know how to move forward with it, then the answers are here. It’s important to learn what your understanding of intimacy is and what your partner’s understanding of intimacy is. You both need to understand each other and be on the same page. Intimacy, emotional intimacy, is important to women. They start with emotions. Emotions are where they live. Men tend to miss this.
If you create a deep relationship of power, passion and intimacy, it will affect far more than just your relationship. It will affect everything you do in your life. It will enable you to create success in your business, in your working life. It will allow the passion in your life to flow because when your relationship is amazing, you are amazing. Your life will have excitement and passion because that’s what your woman wants to see. She wants a man with excitement, passion, direction and masculinity.
The simple truth is that men often, I would say frequently, have issues with intimacy and what compounds it is that they’re often, no frequently, unable to admit that they have these issues. It’s this combination that causes such angst, such frustration, such confusion in women. They see men sublimating their emotions in actions such as work, drinking, fishing or sports.
This is at the heart of much of the difficulty between men and women. For men it starts with sex, not intimacy and for women it starts with intimacy, not sex. That’s a major conflict, a confusion, between men and women which has been going on throughout time. It will probably carry on. I would love to think that all men would read a book such as this and resolve these issues in their lives, but I think the sad truth is that they won’t. Not all men have that determination to make their lives intimate and connected.
Intimacy is being close to someone on an emotional level to the point where you feel that you start to merge together. It’s often associated with a close sexual relationship and this is where men find it confusing. Women almost always connect intimacy with an emotional state that can lead to sex. Men connect intimacy with an emotional state that follows sex.
What is intimacy? It’s a vulnerable sharing of inner thoughts, feelings, spirit and true self and it’s achieved through listening, empathy or reassurance. If it’s mutual, it results in feeling known, validated and cared for. When you to talk to your partner, listen to her, tell her you love her; when you to make her feel known, validated and cared for; when you are empathetic and reassure her; that’s intimacy.
Men often confuse sex and intimacy, but they are not the same thing. Sex without intimacy can be very unrewarding, while sex with intimacy can be deeply passionate and fulfilling. This can be difficult for men to understand. Men are so focused on the power of the sexual act that they often miss the intimacy, but even then, they know that it’s just a physical act and it’s not a passionate or fulfilling one.
Men see intimacy as a deep physical connection and focus on understanding each other’s physical needs, but women see intimacy as deep emotional connection. For them it’s the ability to understand each other’s emotional needs and share emotional moments. It’s that sharing, it’s that deep involvement in emotional moments from the depth of your relationship.
Masculine identity masks the need for intimacy in men. Intimacy involves tenderness, compassion, empathy. They’re feelings associated with the feminine and they cause men to avoid intimacy in their minds. Intimacy is often seen as threatening to men’s gender identity. Men don’t like that. Men don’t like to be thought to be emotional or weak. So they avoid it.
Intimacy requires uniting with another person, so for a man it can be seen as endangering themselves through a loss of control, a loss of identity. It is important for a man to retain to control, control over himself and his identity. Intimacy blurs the edges that separate him from a woman. That can be difficult.
Men avoid intimacy because they lack the emotional vocabulary. They feel less able to express the way they’re feeling and feel uncomfortable discussing emotions. But it is a skill that can be learned. It’s a skill you need to keep on learning and developing because intimacy creates an experience of emotional closeness in a relationship. It’s not just two people living together. It’s two people merging on a deep emotional level. It’s two people able to emotionally open with one another and reveal their true feelings, thoughts, fears and desires.
Have you revealed your true feelings to your partner? Has she revealed hers to you? If you not, you need to get on with it and you need to find a way of doing it without frightening or threatening her. Do it by enclosing her, drawing her in, involving her, caring for her. Intimacy creates a bond that is hard to break. It strengthens a relationship.
When intimacy is lacking, there can be an experience of loneliness for both partners. It is one of the universal human needs, the need to have someone acknowledge you, to validate you, recognize you, know you exist and know how you feel. The lack of intimacy is one of the commonest reasons for relationship breakdown. It is the issue that is dealt with over and over and over again in relationships that are falling apart.
When the initial passion of a relationship disappears it may seem to lose its intensity. It signals the beginning of a new phase in which both partners need to invest effort to maintain the emotional closeness that seemed to come so effortlessly early on. It was effortless but now it seems you need to make an effort.
Love
I have learned how to love a woman and how to put it into practice. Love and intimacy are forever entwined. To learn one is to learn the other.
There are some simple steps you can take to create intimacy and love in your relationship. With your new understanding of what intimacy is, you’ll see that they’re both involved. There are seven simple steps, ones that you can put into practice every day of your life. Write them down, pin them up and never forget them.
Tell her you love her. It means saying it so that she completely understands and is in no doubt about it. She needs you to say this all the time and she needs you to volunteer it and not say it in reply to her questioning.
Just love her for herself. You know the qualities that you love in her, maybe she is smart, sexy, inspirational, funny or even rich. This is not why you love her. You love her just because of her and nothing else. Even though you celebrate everything that she is, even though you worship her for what she does in the world. She needs to know that you simply love her, no matter what.
Get to know her. How often do you hear men say, “My wife doesn’t understand me?” What that really means is “I don’t understand my wife”. This is basic in learning how to love a woman. Love can only grow and deepen through understanding. You’ll never get to the point where you know everything about her. No woman is that simple. She is a complex person that even she doesn’t understand.
Count your blessings. This means the blessings you have together, the things you’ve achieved together, all that you are as a couple. It should be a regular part of your life together. While you shouldn’t live in the past, it’s okay to recount the great things in the past, but this must be tempered by looking at the amazing things that you’re going to do in the future.
Give love always. Love is about giving rather than receiving. Love is a creative force that grows out of the desire to give more than you receive. It’s crucial that you are able to receive the love that is offered to you, otherwise it quickly dies, but you have to focus on the contribution you make to her.
Pay attention to her. It’s a truth that women need attention all the time. It’s absolutely vital for all men wanting to know how to love a woman understand this. Many of the annoying habits that women have are merely attempts to get the attention of a man who is not paying her any attention. Take heed of them and pay attention.
Start afresh each day. This is what I do. Start your day as if it was your first day of your relationship. Welcome her into your world and look forward to your day together. Give her your love and tell her you love her. Do it again in a different way and repeat. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you where to go from here. This refreshing of your love will keep it alive and bring you closer to each other. Through this, your love will deepen and become an essential part of everyday you spend together. Start tomorrow morning. Start as if it was your first day of your relationship.
Emotional Relationships
In an emotional relationship, two people have such deep feelings for each other that even during tough times they will know that they are connected together. This emotional connection keeps them strong. When they share emotional intimacy others cannot intervene and disrupt their relationship. With such a bond there is no place for misunderstandings or conflict.
Truth, honesty and faithfulness are the main pillars of any emotional relationship. When two people love deeply, their relationship always grows and develops. When love is bonded with emotions then the relationship is powerful. Communicating your emotions to your partner will make her feel loved because it confirms that you understand her needs and desires.
What can be extremely threatening to a relationship is an emotional affair. An emotional affair is when you turn to someone else for your core emotional support. It can develop slowly, even innocently, as a friendship. There may not be a sexual attraction in this budding friendship. But when your relationship is experiencing conflict or distance, and you pull away from your partner, consistently turning to your 'friend' for support and sharing of deep personal matters, an emotional affair has begun.
An emotional affair can be a great source of relief and comfort during relationship difficulties. But the danger is that there is only so much intimate emotional energy to go around. When you begin to invest significant amounts of your emotional energy in someone else, your relationship can be seriously compromised.
An emotional affair can deepen through constant contact. There becomes an excitement in hearing from the other person, and when it leads to physical intimacy, it's often a little sex and a lot of talking. The sex may be intense and passionate, but it is the feeling of emotional safety and companionship that really fuels the bond at the deepest level.
This friendship can doom your relationship. Once the door of emotional intimacy has been opened and the bond deepens, you cannot help but compare. "It's so easy to talk to her, and so hard to talk to my partner" is the common refrain. "She always complains and criticises, but my friend is always there, always in a good mood, and always understands and listens to me." It is much easier to open up and feel safe in a superficial new friendship compared to a long-term committed relationship.
Sex
Many relationships start with passion and great sex but then drift into a sense of indifference where sex is concerned. Age, stress, children all combine to interfere with either your, or your partner’s, sexual performance. This is, for obvious reasons, most noticeable in a man, and, as a result, causes most concern in a man. Once sex ceases to be so prominent you both have to fall back on friendship or companionship. Many couples are not set up to function well at these levels.
The answer to this is two-fold. At one level working on the emotional bond between you can reap enormous rewards, as we have already seen. At another level rejuvenating sex in your relationship becomes critical. There are a number of issues to be dealt in order to do this, but I would hope that, if this is an issue you face, some of what you have been learning here will contribute to the new atmosphere needed.
The quality of sex in a relationship can be seen as a marker for the quality of the relationship. Improving the sex will improve the relationship, but also improving the relationship will improve the sex. It is a classic chicken and egg dilemma; where to start? I feel that it should always be with the relationship.
If you have sexual performance issues with your partner. It is time to resolve your issues. If there is a lack of sexual polarity in your relationship you need to understand that developing polarity with your partner is a crucial issue. Understanding the role of sex in your relationship will ensure this area grows and develops.
One of the big issues in the media around the subject of gender is how men use their sexuality. The stereotypical complaint is that they use it to dominate women, that there is too much sexualisation by men. Men can see themselves as Alpha Males who have a right to use whatever technique they can to acquire and enjoy women, men can physically dominate women to make themselves feel like a man. Most men, however, either don’t quite understand their sexuality or feel threatened by the danger of abusing women.
Men can feel caught between the need to be men and the perception of abuse. Either way it stems from the man’s lack of certainty about himself and his ability to deal with male sexuality and polarity. Male sexuality is a potent force that needs to be understood and integrated as part of a man’s personality rather than simply controlled. Suppressing it creates dangerous power than can easily cause harm.
The everyday truth, though, is that many men have difficulties in their physical relationships. Despite the talk of male sexual dominance, in a relationship, the opposite is frequently the problem. Sexual dominance is a characteristic more of single men or men outside their relationship. Inside a relationship there is a different picture.
For a man to be potent is for him to be strong and powerful and fully in charge of the sexuality in his physical relationship. This is the ideal, but how can it be achieved in the daily stress of living with your partner?
As a relationship develops, the level of sexuality changes. This is normal. But since intense sexual attraction is usually an important bonding element early in a relationship, sexual changes often seem unwelcome. Many factors are involved in these changes.
One of the most fundamental challenges is the decline in sexual novelty. Novelty is a major sexual stimulant. Novelty was probably automatic early in your relationship. But later, sex naturally became more familiar and less novel.
Low desire is the top sexual problem in relationships. For men, the top complaint is low frequency, although many women share this concern; for women, the top complaint is quality, or rather lack of it. You may need to find ways to increase the stimulation of your sex life to compensate for the loss of this novelty.
Other common interfering factors in sex include anger, time, avoidance and anxiety.
While most couples don’t want to make love while they are in the middle of a fight, it’s a mistake to put aside your sex life for an extended period because of disagreements. Repair your fights and don’t interrupt your sex life out of anger. In my first marriage I withdrew from sex out of anger at what was happening. That had a disastrous effect on our relationship.
Lack of time is one of the most often cited reasons for infrequency of sex. One of the most common myths is that sex has to take a certain amount of time. Of course, leisurely sex can be wonderful. But it’s a luxury that few couples can afford on a regular basis. There is nothing wrong with quickie sex, as long as both partners accept it.
A top myth is that sex must be spontaneous. It’s a fact of modern life that we plan and schedule everything that is a priority. Make sex a priority and include it in your schedule. Date night is popular with many couples, but some experts advocate planning frequent very brief sexual encounters.
Anxiety is a frequent interfering factor. Sometimes anxiety is related to inhibitions acquired earlier in life. Performance is a big source of anxiety. Performance used to be a male concern—now women, too, feel pressure to perform sexually. It’s hard for mere mortals to live up to the sexual expectations and images promoted by the media.
Sex is an important bonding component in relationships. So even if you feel somewhat alienated from your partner, sex can often be the experience that restores your bond. It can allow you both to feel closer, get affection and stimulate a sense of intimacy. For some men who don’t talk very much in relationships, sex can help them open up a little. Sex can prime the pump for intimacy and healing. Although intimacy should be thought of as separate from sex.
Self-esteem and sexual desire go hand-in-hand. You have to take care of yourself physically so you feel good about yourself. Then you’ll feel desirable. A new exercise program, taking off a few pounds, being active and getting enough sleep will all help increase your sex drive.
Couples need to be honest with each other about what they find desirable. If you’ve been together a long time your desires will evolve, too. Maybe you want erotica or sex toys.
Take turns initiating sex. Take turns being in total control while your partner remains totally passive. These strategies help to deal with common complaints that partners take too little or too much responsibility. Polarity reversal can be an exciting stimulant if it is consensual.
Sex is not rocket science, which means anyone can be good at it. You can keep improving your skills. In fact, getting better at sex is part of your job because good sex is part of the foundation of a good relationship.
You can start by talking to your partner more. In addition to talking about sex and sharing your sexual fantasies, you and your partner should talk more in general. Improving your communication and talking to one another more frequently will make you feel closer to one another. That will make you more intimate and probably less inhibited when it comes to sex.
There is a connection in most couples between happiness and having sex. Happy couples have more sex, and the more sex a couple has, the happier they report being. But keep in mind that sex is only one form of intimacy, and that some couples are fairly happy (and intimate) without sex.
Sexual Polarity
Polarity, when talking about people, is the state and control of masculine and feminine energy. In general, a high masculine energy will attract women, and a high feminine energy will attract men.
A person with more polarity will generally stand out and be more attractive to the opposite sex. If a man shows a feminine polarity and a woman shows a masculine polarity, polarity and sexual attraction can still exist but if their polarity is suppressed the sexual attraction decreases.
A conscious control of polarity can help you become more attractive. But despite high degrees of polarity, men and women retain the essence of male and female qualities, reflecting the true nature of who they really are.
If men and women cling to sameness, in terms of masculine or feminine energy, even in moments of intimacy, then sexual attraction disappears. The juice of the sexual attraction dries up. Love may still be strong, friendship may still be strong, but sexual polarity fades, unless in moments of intimacy one partner is willing to play the masculine pole and one partner is willing to play the feminine. You have to animate the masculine and feminine differences if you want to have sexual passion.
You can have a loving friendship between two people with similar polarity. But when you want strong sexual polarity, you need a more masculine and a more feminine partner.
Physical Relationships
In the last fifty years gender roles have changed dramatically, adding confusion to our expectations, yet the biology of sexuality and the innate physical, mental and emotional differences between men and women have not changed in thousands of years, and it is not likely that they will dramatically change any time soon.
In his fascinating book, ‘What Could He Be Thinking?’, Michael Gurian describes the science behind the differences between men and women, reflected in how their brains function. Much of the mystery can be dispelled when we understand that male and female brains operate very differently from one another, and that our hormones dictate much of our behavior, both physically and emotionally.
When processing emotions, far more areas of the brain were active in women’s brains than in men’s. The female brain has 15% more blood flow than the male brain with more neural pathways connecting different parts of the brain, simultaneously engaging parts of the brain that are not stimulated in men.
Men are more capable of spatial skills, including mechanical design, measurement, direction, abstraction and manipulation of physical objects, while women are more verbally skilled than men. Studies show that men use about half the amount of words that women do. Women love to talk about their emotions, while for most men, talking about their emotions is often difficult and even stressful.
Men tend to react to a perceived threat with a physical response, while women will try to talk themselves out of a stressful situation.
During sex a woman tends to bond intensely with her partner, creating romantic attachment. About the only time a man reacts in the same way is during orgasm allowing him to bond with his partner. However, after orgasm, this reduces in a man, while the woman’s capacity remain consistently high. This is why a man may be compelled to say, “I love you” during sex, but may not feel like saying it much afterwards when the woman is longing to hear reassuring words of love and affection.
Much of the more aggressive, sexual and action-oriented responses in men are caused by high secretions of testosterone. A man’s system is dominated by testosterone, with 20 times more of this hormone than is found in a woman’s system. In women, testosterone levels usually increase only around the time of ovulation, causing interest in sexual bonding.
Deep in the limbic system of the brain, where our primal urges reside, lies the amygdala which handles many of our emotions and aggressive tendencies. The amygdala is larger in men than in women leading to increased aggression.
The feminine is pure, boundless and has infinite energy moving freely without any particular direction. It is directionless but immense, ever changing, beautiful and destructive. The feminine is the force of life and source of inspiration. The feminine moves in all directions, the masculine moves in one direction. The feminine needs the masculine to give it direction, focus and purpose. The masculine needs the energy of the feminine to give it drive and passion. The masculine and the feminine need each other. The masculine directs while the feminine projects. This is the relationship of yin and yang.
The feminine looks to the masculine for direction. A woman does not want a man to look to her for direction but would rather he follow his own direction. It is better for a man to act when he wants to and not need a woman to give him permission to do as he pleases. A woman would rather a man acts when he feels like it instead of when she feels like it, and for him to be able to change her feelings at will. That is why a woman prefers a man to take the initiative in everything. She wants him to keep leading and advancing every step of the way instead of waiting without knowing what to do next.
My wife and I experienced something recently that revealed to us previously hidden depths to our relationship. We had started a close and passionate relationship that we both enjoyed. The one aspect, however, that secretly gave us both concern was that we had never experienced the dark side of each other’s nature. There is normally a point in any relationship where you come to experience the dark side of your partner’s nature. Usually when this happens it creates confusion or concern. You discover something that is not in line with how you saw your partner.
Most people never think about this and are shocked when it comes out. Both my wife and I had previous marriages that ended in divorce. We were both married to partners who had addictive natures and we both stayed in our marriages because we thought we could help them solve their addictions. Eventually we both left our marriages only after we realized we were enabling the addictions rather than curing them. Entering into a new relationship we both feared what might be lurking in the other. We didn’t talk about it but we both knew the other’s concerns.
Somehow we knew that we had to experience each other’s dark side, we knew we had to resolve this before we went too deeply into the relationship, we had to find out. But how? How could we be sure we knew if we did find out?
We were in India spending some time at an Ashram. Towards the end of our visit we both, independently, signed up for a three day meditation class. We attended the class and worked with various partners. On the last day the teacher announced that we would do a dark energy meditation, one that would, if we engaged with it, delve the depths of our dark side. We immediately opted to do this together, each sensing that the other felt a sense of excitement and dread about doing it.
The experience transformed our relationship into one of total trust and knowledge. The intention of the meditation was simply to provoke one another and see how far we could go.
We started by sitting across from each other. We spent time becoming completely present with each other and tuning out the other people in the room. The meditation was to be energetic and physical. We started to pull faces and make gestures to try and provoke each other. Over a period of 10 to 15 minutes we moved to a form of play fighting. We were feeling each other out, sensing where the other person was and seeing how far we could go.
Eventually the play fighting stopped and we became serious. We were fighting, wrestling, to such an extent that the teacher came over to make sure we were ok. She was concerned about how far we were going. Once she was sure we knew what we were doing she let us carry on. Eventually we collapsed on the ground hugging and laughing. We had broken through a barrier and we both felt truly amazing.
What I need to explain is what happened energetically when we started really fighting. Physically I am larger and stronger than my wife. Physically I knew I could wipe the floor with her if I let go of any restraint. My wife knew this but she didn’t know whether I would lose my restraint if she pushed me far enough. Equally she didn’t know if I would just bow out in fear of hurting her. For her the latter would be almost as bad as the former.
So she pushed and provoked. She pushed harder and harder to test my reaction. I felt this and saw that she was serious about it. I responded by always topping what she did, but only just. I never let her beat me but I only did enough to ensure she knew I wasn’t going to back down. At one point I threw her on the floor and hurt her, but that didn’t stop her. She realised that I wasn’t going to back down but neither was I going to lose my temper, something she knew had been my habit in the past. In matching her aggression I was also protecting her. I was letting her do what she wanted but making sure she knew she would get it back.
Eventually she gave up, knowing there was no further she could go. I could hold her and stop her and give as good as I got. We were very happy because we discovered each other’s dark side. I knew she would go as far as she could, take what I gave back and not take it personally. She knew I would take whatever she gave me, give her back more but not lose my temper or restraint. I would always remain strong and protect her. I would not back down, I would remain, for her, a man.
None of this was planned or talked about as we did it. We followed our instincts and allowed ourselves to go deep into our dark energy. This was what we wanted. This cleared any doubt between us. It was important to us that this was a physical exercise. It had a deep sexual undertone even though sex did not appear in it. It’s important that you understand how sex can be involved in a physical relationship even when there is no sexual activity.
The Way Forward
I believe that as men we are all born with an in-built masculine essence, we are all masculine men. This is the basic energy that drives us from deep inside. It is the energy that determines the way we feel, and makes us happy. I believe in men with male energy.
During our life we adapt in response to events and life challenges. We do this to survive as human beings. Regardless of the nature of these events and challenges, the intensity with which we experience them shapes us during our lifetime. This adaptation is a result of a basic fear that is rooted deep inside each and every one of us, namely that we are not good enough as we are, and therefore the people that matter most to us in life won’t love us.
This fear is such a strong motivator, that we force ourselves to adapt into whatever we feel will retain that love, in order to prove to our source of love that we are worthy. It works for us in the moment, so we stick to the strategy!
It is through this adaptation that we put our authentic selves to sleep. Part of this is the masculine energy inside us. We shift away from the connection to our inner core, and leave it behind as we perceive it as too dangerous and in many cases too painful to remember.
As we grow into adulthood, this adapted masculinity becomes more confused about the role it plays in our life. There are several reasons for this.
Our fathers, mothers, teachers, peers and the media are very happy to present us with role models of masculinity and, using symbols and archetypes, construct images based on socially accepted rules as anchors for us to grab onto. We unconsciously embrace these ideals and adapt to them.
Following the growth of the strength of women, men were invited to join in household life, and women took on jobs in the workforce. This led to a reversal of roles, and more equality in the relationship. This is often referred to as ‘new’ or ‘integrated’ masculinity perhaps ‘confused’ is more appropriate.
People believed this newfound equality in relationships was the solution to many problems, in their personal life as well as in their relationships. But looking around in today’s western society, it is clear to me that something else is needed. Most people are still not feeling fulfilled. The question is why not? What else do we need?
The answer is that we need to re-awaken those parts of ourselves that are dormant within us and find our own ‘Personal Masculinity’.
Having grown through our personal life experiences to a stage of sharing and equality, men are now ready to clear up the confusion by adding their true core to the mix. This means moving away from society’s and parent’s role models and discovering who we really are at our core. One of the major elements in this is the re-awakening of our own male characteristics.
In re-awakening the dormant parts of ourselves we will become whole, and as we become whole we won’t need people or material goods around us to fill the void inside us anymore. We will be complete and from that completeness we will act and behave differently, as we connect from a place of feeling at ease within ourselves.
From this place of completeness, we will create a new type of relationship with the people around us, as we no longer feel dependent. In an intimate relationship, where a clearly defined masculine essence is present, a strong polarity is created. A polarity that can be missing in a relationship based on equality.
We will step up and be men again.