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Day 19 — Spirit: Power

Having become aware of the spiritual unity that I am part of and accepting that it is connected to my purpose, what is the effect of that for me? What did I become? Was it worth it? The effect of my spiritual discovery was power. When I first started to host the 'Men Alive Show' on the radio I was unsure of how it would work. I loved the format of radio and understood its power. I did not know how I would perform. The first show, with Jeff Brown, went well and I was pleased with the result. I had done my research and enjoyed the conversation with Jeff. As the show proceeded I came to see the power I had in this medium.

The Power Revealed

The effect of my spiritual discovery was power. This power came to manifest itself in all that I did. This power revealed itself to me as an integral part of me. It was a power that had always been there, I had just not understood it.

When I was just twenty years old I worked in Glasgow, Scotland, at the Citizen's Theatre. I had left home two years previously as a shy, rather insular boy. Working as a Stage Manager I joined the Actor's Union, Equity, and soon became a member of the Scottish Committee. I attended the Annual Conference in London as a delegate. During one particularly long and boring debate, I found the power to stand up and ask 'that the question now be put'! This was a device to move things on. It was voted on and passed, and we moved on.

I had no idea where that courage came from. This pattern repeated itself over the years as I held leadership positions in different organisations and found the courage to step up and say what other people were only thinking. This always seemed at odds with who I was as a person.

The sense of power and courage came from my spiritual heart and was a central part of my soul.

My Shift as a Man

After making this discovery I made a crucial shift as a man. I became aware of my need to be myself and honour myself. Through this shift I found my inner power and strength. The change this made in my life was dramatic.

My whole demeanour changed to marry up to what had been inside me all along. My voice dropped and I stood more upright. I finally believed in myself and was able to move forward to do the things that were important to me. Writing and broadcasting were just two of the outward signs of this new-found power. They now made sense to me as a part of my life.

The greatest shift was in my relationship with Urmila. She had seen my lack of belief in myself and found it off-putting. My shift was a revelation to her and a sign that I had found my place in the world as a man. This allowed the relationship to happen, grow and blossom.

The most important thing to come out of it, though, was my work on men and masculinity. I started writing for my web site, which morphed into this site, My writing on my experience as a man and my understanding of the issues of men in the world gained strength and power. This work moved into books and courses.

My Heart and Soul

Through diving into my spiritual roots I found my heart and soul and started living an authentic life. My understanding of my purpose grew to the point, today, where I keep moving towards my intention of sharing my gifts with the world. I will keep doing this because I know it is what I am here to do.