banner for Lent Meditation

Day 17 — Spirit: Seeking

I have been seeking all my life. I have always had this sense of looking for my home, my refuge. It has not been through a sense of lack or need, but through a sense of destiny. I spent many years on this journey before I found what I was seeking.

Spiritual Heart

I love the story of Santiago in 'The Alchemist' who travels to find a treasure he dreams about. On the way he learns to listen to his heart and that his Personal Legend, his heart's desire, is part of the Soul of the Universe.

He is a shepherd, living in Spain, who seeks his treasure in Africa. On a caravan to Egypt Santiago learns about a Soul of the World, to which all are connected and of the necessity of following his Personal Legend. He falls in love and he discovers that love comes directly from the Soul of the World. At the Pyramids he is attacked by robbers. Santiago tells them that he had a dream of a treasure buried at the base of the Pyramids. One replies that he has had the same dream, but in his the treasure was buried in Spain. Santiago realises that the treasure was back in Spain the entire time. Santiago returns and digs a hole at the base of the tree where he had had his first dream. He finds a trunk full of gold.

This taught me that what I was seeking was in me all the time. The spiritual heart that I sought was already there. This was not so much a re-assuring discovery as one that finally made sense. Like Santiago this discovery was not revealed to me until I was ready to understand and accept it. I needed to take my journey to be able to appreciate the power of what was in me.

My Deepest Fear

I was at a Tony Robbins event, 'Life Mastery', when I met one of his trainers Connie Schottky. She said something to me in passing about looking forward to seeing me at another future event. Later I asked her what she meant by that. Instead of replying she directed me to a quotation in my manual. It was the famous quotation from Marianne Willamson's book 'Return to Love'.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I did fear my light and I realised that it was time to let my own light shine.

My Buried Treasure

At the time I was President of the International Association of Lighting Designers. I had to make a speech, as President, at a conference about my tenure and what it had meant for me. In it I talked about the effect on my career in light and I talked about the importance of my inner light as well. It was a powerful moment for me as I united all aspects of my life and revealed what was truly important to me.

My continued spiritual development proved to me that I had found my buried treasure back home. It also showed me that I had touched the Soul of the World.