Dealing With Triggers
I need a method that is easy to remember, that is clear to understand and that is, above all, effective. I want to be true to myself and others on a daily basis, but I do not want to be breaking off to do a complex process.
Tapping is a popular method, but I would need to do it in the privacy of my room. It can look a little weird to be tapping my head and face and talking to myself in a cafe!
One method that I like is the 'Four Agreements' by Don Miguel Ruiz. They are easy to remember and I can think them through in my head when I am with people. After all it is when I am with others that the triggers happen.
The Four Agreements are:
- Be Impeccable with your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid speaking against yourself to gossiping about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
- Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
- Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
- Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
These are powerful as a basis for life. Just taking the second and third to heart would transform my life.
I have found that taking things personally has caused more heartache for me than almost anything else. When I sit back and think about what is happening I know it is never about me. That is not always what I think in the moment.
Making assumptions is another way of taking things personally. When I assume something I take the arrogant step of thinking I know all the answers.
Living in Harmony
Looking forward I am committed to continuing the journey of clearing my emotional baggage and living my emotional truth. I will be open, honest and transparent in my dealings with other people, and with myself. I am committed to living true to the way I want to live and not live to satisfy the needs and wishes of other people.
I want to live in harmony with others and in community with some people, especially my wife. I will do this, however, with emotional authenticity. I will be authentic about myself and let others live their life their way.
This may seem like a selfish way to live, it is not. Once I stop projecting my emotional issues on to others, once I stop taking things personally, life with be clearer, for me and those I am with. I will be able to live in my power and inspire people with how I live with myself.
- Do you live with emotional authenticity?
- Do you live by the Four Agreements?
- How do you want to be emotionally?