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Embers of Illumination: Content

(page 2 : posts 7 to 12 below...)

This is a memoir of my life, my spiritual development. It is about how I have grown from loneliness to aloneness. It reveals my struggles with seeking answers and explores what made me the man I am.

embers of illumination
© Sat Purusha (cropped)

1.6 The Loneliness Of It All

I realise that I am not able to completely throw away what was central to me when I was young, no matter how much I now understand it was wrong. I did not know how to connect with people around me. I had the feeling of paralysis.

embers of illumination
© Sat Purusha (cropped)

2.1 Finding My Voice—Becoming Creative

The need to dominate or control shifted into a desire to influence which became a love of teaching and inspiring. I saw that my place in the world was one of privilege and that I repaid this privilege whenever I could.

embers of illumination
© Sat Purusha (cropped)

2.2 Learning To Live And Not Look After Myself

I had no sense of identity, either in relation to who I was, or who I wanted to be. I was out in the world with no idea of who I was beyond how I related to my family, especially my parents, but I was out there, away from home.

embers of illumination
© Sat Purusha (cropped)

2.3 Drink And Drugs—They Are Not The Answers

I may have been lost but I knew how to dull the ache. Life became about fun, connection became about letting my inhibitions go. Maybe I was shy, but I found a way I could connect that did not require too much effort.

embers of illumination
© Sat Purusha (cropped)

2.4 Running Around But Not Getting Anywhere

In the decade between the mid-sixties and the mid-seventies I was out in the world enjoying a sense of freedom. This was a great period for me despite all the negative aspects.

embers of illumination
© Sat Purusha (cropped)

2.5 Normality Beckons—The End of Freedom

The end of my decade of freedom came when I met a girl and fell in love. At last everything seemed to slot into place. I felt connected, wanted and desired. I was able to express myself through my emotions and my passion.

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