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Day 15 - Heart: Clearing

I find that there is always a mis-match between how I want to be and how I am. I can never permanently equate my heart with my emotions. My heart is where I want my emotions to lie. Why can I not marry the two up?

Awareness of Patterns of Emotion

Urmila and I spend a lot of time helping each other clear our emotional patterns and baggage. It is almost a daily task to clean up what has come up during the day and leave us clear for tomorrow. I wrote about this recently in Each Day I Start Again To Clean The Slate. I used the metaphor of cleaning the front glass of a wood burning stove to represent clearing each day. This work is powerful but necessary.

The first step in this process is awareness of the patterns of negative emotions and responses. Even though I have spent years doing the work of clearing and understanding it is still easy to miss what is happening. I find it helpful to work with someone who understands me well enough to see what is happening. It is also important for me to work with someone I trust. Someone I trust to not make it about them.

I find that this step of awareness hurtful because I think that I have dealt with all this 'stuff'. Awareness relies on openness and transparency to be effective.

Deep-Rooted Patterns

Just today Urmila and I were in a shop when I received a phone call about a small bill that had not been paid because of the bank not paying a direct debit. Urmila made a comment to me and I made one back. They were both taken personally and we both responded with an edge. Where did those come from for both of us?

They were both connected to deep-rooted patterns that we both thought we had cleared.

What we both keep forgetting is what I said when I was talking about anger. We clear the emotions from our immediate surroundings but they remain part of our make-up. Clearing becomes about ways of dealing with the issues when they come up, as they come up. This comes from being able to step outside of the immediate reaction and see what is going on.

The emMatrix Process

I have worked, for a number of years, with an emotional clearing process called emMatrix. This is based around understanding and working with the emotional matrix that makes up our bodies.

Our emotions are located all over our bodies in locations set up at some time in the past. Often they were created in childhood to deal with some emotional event that we sought to deal with. They remain there doing the work they were set up to do, even though the event and the issue are past.

They were set up and remain to serve our needs and work to protect us in some way. Frequently we stop communicating with them and end up ignoring them. This is what happens when we push emotions down that seek to protect us in a childish way. Anger, for example, can come from a desire to place a protective shield around us to keep others, who are a threat to us, out.

Sometimes their only way of communicating with us is through pain. In recognising this we can be drawn to respond to this communication and seek to understand what this emotion is trying to tell us. We can resolve the issue it has, resolve the pattern we put in place and allow the emotion to fade away, taking the pain with it.

As an emMatrix Practitioner I work with people to help them focus on their pain, identifying the emotion buried there and encouraging them to let it go. This is an effective process that can bring out and clear many deep-seated patterns.

When I am aware of what is happening in me I can use this process on myself and clear what is happening. I am now off to do just that...